Thursday, January 6, 2011

Azalia's first day at kindy

So yesterday was her first day.

Days before, I tried to prepare her for school by telling her what to expect, like what she's going to do at school, I'm not going to be there with her..etc etc.

Asa thinks I shouldn't have. It would scare her he says. He thinks it would be better to give her the shock treatment. I disagreed. My first day experience was horrific. I cried and screamed and climbed up my father's back and pulled his hair when he and my mom tried to make me come down. Yes.. I was overly dramatic. I can't remember when I calmed down.. but by the second day I was ecstatic to go to school. I didn't have trouble making friends the first day after I stopped sobbing. And my parents.. they just left me after they got me off my father's back that first day. My brother cried too. But not as bad. My sister.. she's the calmest. She was as cool as a cucumber on her first day. She even felt weird that my mom was peeking through the window to see her.

I don't want Azalia to be as bad as me on her 1st day. Hence the prep. But she still cried. Not as bad as me. The teacher told us we can stay that day to ease her into it.I was not the only parent there so that comforted me. But the others didn't cry when their parents were there. Azalia did for awhile. Because she knows her mummy. She knows I will slip out the minute she gets her eyes on me.. alamak.. distrust with her own mother.. (am I a bad mother??). Or maybe she just very suspicious.. like me.. hehe.

But we eventually stayed in the class throughout the first day. I did slip out and stayed outside once.. when she was singing and occupied. Than I heard her cry. So I went in and told her I'm still there. She stopped but I can see that she's mad at me for leaving her.. aiyoyo. She enjoyed school while we were there. She had fun she said. She even volunteered to sing in front of the class. And she said she wants to come again. But when I told her last night that today I won't be with her at school, she didn't want to go anymore. "School's not fun" she kept on repeating in a sing song way.

She cried in the car when she saw the school. But she didn't struggle to get away when the teacher led her to class. One of the teachers told me its better if I just leave. She'll be ok they said.

So I left. And here I am.. writing this down.

Truth be told... this experience is nerve wrecking to me too. It's making me questioning my parenting skills. Why is my child crying to go to school??!!! But I'm consoling myself saying its normal. That some kids.. however you prep her will still cry when she goes to school. She'll be ok. I was ok and I was 10x worse. Going to school is a natural process and I shouldn't feel bad about it. Apelah mak dia sorang ni. Sigh.

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