Monday, May 23, 2011

To colour or not to colour

Azalia doesn't like to colour with crayons or colour pencils. She prefers to paint. She can colour and when she wants to and she can do it nicely, within the lines and all. But she doesn't like to colour. The other day her teacher said she would throw tantrums if forced to colour. She prefers doing lots of worksheets and drawing.

I don't exactly mind that she doesn't like to colour because hey... different kids have different interest. But since some of her school activities involves colouring and some of her homework too, I didn't want her to get penalised for not colouring.

One time I asked her why she doesn't like to colour. She says its boring. It takes a lot of her time, and its mundane. She prefers colouring small pictures but big ones she doesn't like.

I thought of a way to solve this, and then one day she gave me the solution herself. She asked me what mixture of colours can make another colour. Apparently in her school they had just learnt how when primary colours are mixed they get the secondary colours. So when she asked me that question, I took her homework out, and told her.. why not you mix the colours and see.

So she said she wanted to make green. I asked her where in the picture she wants to put green, and told her to colour yellow and blue on that part of the picture. She happily coloured and I could see she was fully concentrated in it. I was overjoyed. She wanted to colour. I didn't make her but she wanted to.

And when we're done with that we moved to another one and soon she finished the whole picture. I then told her that the next time she colours, why not mix the colours instead of using only one colour. And she thought that was fun enough.

There were no screaming matches. No forcing.. just a very calm and peaceful interaction between the two of us and she did the thing I wanted her to.

I guess that book I bought do have a point. Its easier to have kids to do things when they want to do it. So find how to make them want it and they would do it. But of course that takes time.. figuring out the HOW. Parents have to be fully aware of what their kids like or dislike and what motivates them. I suppose once both parents and kids get the hang of this it'll be less stressful.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Of sewing and HK

I sew but I suck at it. I only sew if I have to and I don't intend for it to last long. Sometimes just out of curiosity most times... for fun.

Anyway.. that's soo out of the blue.

Just got back from Hong Kong last Tuesday and have to say it's not a place I'd want to go back to. Too fast paced and a bit rude?? But hey.. different culture have different definitions with what's rude and what's not. All I can say is its not for me. But still no regrets in going there. Our main objective was Disneyland for Azalia and to see her get so excited watching the characters and taking pics with them and screaming at them at the parade like how adults would when they're at a concert, definitely made the trip worthwhile.

We cancelled our trip to Ocean Park due to the weather and tiredness of walking up and down hills... yes.. Hong Kong is hilly. I'm sure I would have enjoyed the dolphin show, sea lion show and the panda.. but... maybe when Azalia is older. Of course there's always Sentosa Island to see all that..hehe( but no panda though..hmph.. next stop China maybe??)

We did however reacher The Peak. And OMG it really is THE PEAK. We were higher than the HK's tallest buildings and the scenes were beautiful. We went up via the funicular tram and that was fun.

We were supposed to see the light shows along the harbour but Azalia usually crashed by then.. plus it was drizzling almost everyday sooo..cancelled that.

It's so different travelling with a child now. We can make detailed plans but in the end, we would give priority to her comfort. There are kids who are very adaptable but those who are less adaptable can still enjoy things.. you just have to make a few tweaks here and there. Sure you might not get to see everything but hey... always remember what the objective of the trip is. To have fun and be happy.

Although I was a bit grumpy and cranky due to my own inability to adapt well to their culture over there... but by day 3 I got a better control out of it. Oh no.. have I become less adaptable too.. mother like daughter maybe???

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Of old age.

My grandfather has been in and out of the hospital for the past few months. He has his good days but they are minimal compared to his bad days. Right now, he's back in the hospital. He looks weak. I'm not used to seeing him this weak. The other day we had a scare when he suddenly collapsed and was semi concious. He was slurring a bit. I thought he had another stroke. But turned out he was so exhausted. Kidney and heart is not functioning well. It's almost time he would say with that cheeky smile on his face.

He's always joking about how his time is near. He would say my first house is this house, my second house is the hospital and my third house is where I'm going next. Always with a laugh at the end.

It's inevitable I know, but you can't help but feel sad and in denial a bit right!!.

Anyway looking at how my parents are taking care of him, attending to him at home, at the hospital, my mom sleeping there when he was extra weak. And going to work the next day. My uncles taking turns being there for him at the hospital, taking his medication at the hospital.. etc... basically its hard work. Sure you love your parents and would do anything you can for them , but at the same time, life goes on and you have to go to work, tend to your own family and other obligations to tend to.

I pray that I would be as strong as my parents when their time comes. And for that, I need to make sure I have a flexible job, (or maybe not work when the time comes..hehe), kids are all grown up and can take care of themselves(its easier.. you don't have to worry about them and focus on your parents more) and are financially ready to bear any costs that they can't handle themselves (which I think they can manage but who knows.. which also reminds me to save for when my time comes because its not cheap to have some comfort in your later years i tell you).

Plus, it helps to have lots of kids. They can take turns seeing you at the hospital, bring you for checkups, get your medications, at least the burden won't fall on only one person.. haha. If Azalia is my only child, I have told my cousins whom I took care of when they were little and still sometimes do now, that I expect them to take care of me when I'm old just like how they would take care of their mom. "Ye kakak Anis" they answered.. hehe. Must make voice record so they would keep their word.. HAHAHAHA.

I pray that whatever time my grandfather has left in this world, he would not suffer. I pray that we would be there with him when his time has come. I pray to Allah the Merciful that He would make it easy for my grandfather.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

My nephew Alwi.

My weekend plans would usually go out the window if my little nephew Alwi comes to visit. He's a gem that boy. Soooo cute. Going to be two this July. He talks in his own language. Some we could understand, but most of the time we don't but its so adorable because he talks like we can understand him so we pretend we do.

Azalia wants to play with him. But she's not so gentle and impatient. She would ask him to play and when he doesn't play the way she wants him to, she gets angry.

So last weekend, when she was beginning to get impatient I whisked her away and had a good talk with her

Me: You've always wanted a sister or a brother right?

Azalia: Yesss

Me: Than you have to learn to play with little kids. Allah likes it when you are good with little kids like Alwi, so if you learn to play with him well than maybe Allah will grant our doa for an adik for you. Ok?

Azalia: OK.. fine...

And lo and behold she played nicely with him. I could see that when she's frustrated she stopped herself, walk away and then went back to playing with him. I wonder how long this will last. I'm sure I have to remind her again and again but yeah.. I'm glad she listened.

That boy is so cute I tell you. Anytime anyone drops anything he would say with all seriousness, " Ya Allah". He calls Azalia, "Aiyaaa" and follows her everywhere.

They played 'house' and I could hear Azalia telling Alwi,

"Alwi..awak duduk dlm. Jangan keluar2. Faham!!. Awak adik, saya kakak Ok!

and Alwi replied

" Cak..cak... (playing peekabo at the door) etetetemepeme Aiyaaaa"

and Azalia says

"Alwi!!!!!! mari sini!!!!"

OMG she sounds exactly like me!!!!!


p.s: Bought myself the book "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk" for Mother's Day. Need it for guidance and assurance that I'm on the right track. I would say so far the advices given are practical and in need of a lot of patience. And its ok to lose it once in awhile. Mothers are human too.