Monday, April 23, 2012

Arfan's ride

I'm currently scouring the internet like a hawk searching for a particular stroller that I have in mind. The one that we had for Azalia is already 5 years old and in tatters. The cloth all torn up and the leg support is gone. That stroller costs me RM69.90 and it has served us very well for 5 years. It has traveled on boats, roads, malls, airplane, we brought that thing everywhere and Azalia loved sitting/sleeping in it. And now its time to find Arfan something that he would love too.

I did think of getting the exact same one for Arfan but couldn't find it in the stores. So I'm off searching for something similar. But currently I can't even find something close to that price. Of course I'm looking at a different brand because the previous brand don't carry it anymore. And this brand will cost way more that RM69.90.

Oh well. I can't really expect paying the same price I paid  5 years ago right? hehe.

Friday, April 20, 2012


It's one of those things that people say, you can't move on until you let go of the past. Letting go is the easy part, it's the moving on that's painful. So sometimes we fight it, try and keep things the same. Things can't stay the same though. At some point, you just have to let go. Move on. Because no matter how painful it is, it's the only way we grow.

 Meredith, Grey's Anatomy 820.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Exclusively pumping

So again I've decided to exclusively breastpump for Arfan just like I did with Azalia. I did it for Azalia ever since she was 4 days old till up to 10+ months old and for Arfan I hope it will be longer.

With Azalia the decision was made because my nips bled. Azalia was a biter. Don't lecture me on her not latching properly because she did and you're not at the receiving end of it, I am and I know she bites. She latches properly but she bites. Heck, she tore the Avent nipple when she was barely 2 months old. No teeth yet ok.. she did it with her gums!!

I thought that maybe this time around I'd be able to breastfeed. But again, I only did it for 4 days. Arfan refused to latch properly and one nip bled and the other cracked. Luckily this time around I was prepared at the hospital and brought my pump along. One lactation consultant was supportive of my decision but the other thought my decision was premature. I couldn't care less with what she thinks. I did this for Azalia and she was a healthy baby and now an active and healthy toddler so I didn't see anything wrong with it. Plus its my body, my life and my child.

Besides... who says I'm taking the easy way out. You're talking about pumping every 2-3 hours to make sure your supply is up (1-2 hours the first few weeks to build the supply in the first place) and waking up in the middle of night just to pump even if your baby's not up and not to forget the endless amount of washing up to do. Oh and planning is key to ensure efficiency.

Read this article about mothers who chose to exclusively breastpump instead of direct breastfeeding and I could identify myself with some of them. So I guess if I have a third I'll just go straight to the pump.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

12th March

My dad's birthday and now... my son's birthday.

Arfan B. Azhari was born at Pantai Hospital KL, on 12.03.12, Monday at 3.20pm via elective cesarean, weighing at 3.22kg. A lot of 3s and 2s innit.. haha.

There was not much drama, everything went quite smoothly and as planned. I was in and out of surgery in maybe around 2 hours.

I felt less during surgery this time around. Maybe they gave me a higher dosage of epidural compared to last time but I didn't feel them poking around my insides. But I did feel them taking Arfan out and what a relief it was when I heard him cry. And when they put him near me to show me what a lovely boy he is I just choked. After 3 miscarriages I finally have my second child. I never thought this day would happen. All praises to Allah. Syukur alhamdulillah.

The healing process was faster and better this time around too. Maybe because I already knew what kind of pain to expect that it felt more manageable. Whatever it is, I was walking by the 2nd day and was back at home by the 4th day.

But whilst I was discharged, Azalia was admitted to the same hospital due to bronchitis. My parents are a gem and I am forever thankful for having them as my parents. They took turns taking care of her at the hospital and arranged all the logistics for me and her so that I don't have to worry about anything other than recuperating at home. She was admitted for 4 days 3 nights and for all 3 nights my dad took the night shift and slept on the hospital floor to accompany his grandaughter. Apparently Azalia wanted to sleep with him on the floor too. Like camping she says.

My mom took the day shift and kept her entertained. She did ask for me but we had to tell her a little white lie. We told her I was also in the hospital and was recuperating there and couldn't see her and she couldn't see me because both of us are not well and if we want to go home soon we have to stay apart. She bought it, and willingly stayed at the hospital. But I did go and see her on the Friday because I was worried and missed her. And my worries were put to rest when I saw her smiling away and was her usual active self. Apparently she was a very good patient and took her medicine and nebuliser willingly.

And finally, on Sunday, when Arfan is 7 days old, everyone's back at home. Azalia dotes on her baby brother. She did after all prayed for him. She wanted to smother him with kisses every day and hold him and sing to him and bathe him. And she also has asserted her authority as the big sister by telling him to stop crying, drink his milk etc etc. haha as if Arfan knows what she's talking about. But I can see that Arfan knows his big sister and is already familiar with the sound of her voice because he would listen intently whenever she sings or talks to him.

And now we've more or less settled in some sort of a routine as a family of four and I'm loving it.