I was pregnant.............. but only for 4 days.

Well actually 7 weeks. But I only found out 4 days before I miscarry.... again.

At least I didn't snort when I cry this time.

When the sac came out it was much smaller than before. It was a white clear sac. Stained with a little blood but when I rinsed it, it was a white clear sac. I felt it coming out while I was praying Subuh this morning. Subhanallah.

Sure I cried. I also wasn't sure what to do next. Some has shown their concern by pushing me to investigate the cause of my recurrent miscarriages. Part of me wants to do it but part of me just want to sit still for now and wallow in self pity.

So this morning I did both. Made an appointment for tomorrow. Then I ordered some pizza and watch tv the whole day. It helped to distract me from the fact that I had 3 miscarriages in a row.

Azalia was also my comfort. She's my miracle. She's my little fighter.

p.s: mom and aunt suspects my immune system is rejecting the feotus because the pattern is that my miscarriages are between 7-10wks. I was also bleeding when I carried Azalia but maybe because it happened at 12weeks, she survived. Can't remember what the condition is called but should check with the doctor. I'll only know once a blood test is done.

Pray for us.

And please.. I'm not looking for any pity. I have enough of self pity. Hehe.