Monday, December 5, 2011

Terrible twos... and threes.

Being the only one with a child among your peers can be daunting.

First you don't have anyone to exchange notes with. Sure you have your mom and aunt.. but again, they are NOT your peers hence different wavelengths.Hence, you have to go to the internet, books, articles in the newspaper for some idea on how to handle parenting the way that suits you.

Second, you tend to leave your child behind to have meals with your friends because honestly, you can't really have decent conversation with your friends with your child demanding attention from you every 5 minutes, 10 if you're lucky. Hence, you multi task, but still... no one likes to talk to someone who at the same time is saying "Don't touch that" "What was it? you want more soup?" "Stop!!! don't play with your food!!" every few minutes or so.

Third, having to go through the whole terrible two and three stage all on your own. Your partner not included. That is a mind boggling, hair pulling, constant screaming and crying (from both parties) stage because OMG... your child suddenly turns from the sweet ever-smiling baby to a screaming, full of tantrum child who just couldn't be reasoned with.

So I let her cry... A LOT.


I had to have a lot more "me" time than usual. (I had to.. to remain sane. Thankfully Asa understood this and just took her away from me when needed)


not to forget the endless guilt because you're just not sure whether you're doing the right thing or not because... you know the phrase "you gotta be cruel to be kind" well... you kind of have to do A LOT of that, but it doesn't really make you feel good.


But yeah.. now my daughter's four.. and I'm glad we've passed that stage. I'm not saying she's over the whole temper tantrum's phrase she is after all still a toddler, but its easier now.

And now I'm watching my friends slowly entering that stage with their kids and I'm glad I was over mine. Well at least for this one. The next one will be in a couple of years time so I'll worry about that later.

Only advice I could think of is....take a break. When you feel like losing it, just walk away. They'll scream and yell for you but if you stay with them, you'll just lose it so just walk away and deal with it when both of you are calmer (usually when they've exhausted themselves and just sobbing and in tears) . But honestly this is easier said than done. hehe.


  1. Omg! Haha. Agreed on the taking-a-break part. Baby's only a month old but i am already having breakdown on a weekly basis if hubby's a bit bz and couldn't help out more.

  2. Be strong farah. You're gonna do well. A lot of mothers feel that way. Just have lots and lots of patience ya.. like Asa always says.. take care of yourself first before take care of others because there's no way you can take care of others well when you yourself are not well. :)