The dreaded 3 letters of the month.... P.M.S

Last weekend I was PMSing. Worst thing about it... I didn't realise I was so there were a lot of emotional roller coaster going on and the one who had to suffer it most are my family because I was on leave the whole week.

You see.. if I knew I was PMSing then I would have known that was the reason behind my moodiness and would have stopped myself from thinking others had something to do with it .But since I didn't know, everyone... and I mean eevveerrryyyonnneeee in my family got a piece of my emotions. And they were not very pleasant and pretty.

I hate it when I'm PMSing because I can be the least likeable person EVER!!!!!!!!Even I can't stand myself. That is why I would always try to be aware of myself when I'm PMSing. But this time I missed it because after 4 months of no period I forgot how it felt like. Non-family members won't really notice. Good friends would notice because I would keep to myself more. Family would definitely notice because they are the ones who I show my emotions to. Trust me... when I'm like that, you do not want to be my family.

And you know to whom I felt guilty the most??!!! AZALIA!!

Huhuhuh sorry sorry..I thought last week would be a good week to spend some time with you. But instead you ended up with a very grouchy mother.

Sheesshhh...

Now that I'm in my 3rd day, I'm all cheerful again.I wasn't even angry when Azalia spilled water when she was painting today.


Till next month....sigh.

p.s: I miss the 10-month-period-free time I had after I gave birth because seriously.. I had NO mood swings AT ALL during that time.

Pants on the floor!!!!

Today Azalia ran after Adam and her pants fell down.(the pants were loose because I couldn't be bothered to buy a belt and thought she would fill it up soon but apparently my child is not a big eater and it would be awhile before she fills those pants up.. sigh)

What did she do?? She continued running and shouting "Adam, Adam". And when I finally pulled her pants up and she continues running while holding on to her pants at the back...

My mom couldn't stop laughing and singing William Hung's "Pants on the ground" which coincidentally was on American Idol a few nights back.

Should have had my camera with me.

p.s: Azalia now refers to American Idol as Idol, Glee as geli, The Oprah Winfrey Show as Opwah and The Suze Orman show as suze omen. This is the result of the tug-0-tv-war she has with my mom to watch playhouseDisney in my mom's room.

Wanna be lucky???

We always here people who complain saying how they're never lucky with queues or parking, or luck was never on their side when it comes to getting that bag u wanted so much on sale or getting good deals at warehouse sales or those free seats on A*ras*a.

I believe it is not luck that we should be banking on but proper planning. I am a planner. I plan the time to go out and what route I should take to avoid traffic. I plan the day and time I grocery shop because I don't want to be stuck searching for a parking space or waiting in a long queue and . I plan my shopping and when I shop so that I don't waste and I get the things I want at a sale. I plan my travels so that I get really good hotels at bargain prices and get those cheap seats.

I realise that when I don't plan.. that's when I am stuck with all the things that you would consider unlucky.

Here are some tips..to get"lucky".

1.Grocery shopping

DO NOT do your grocery shopping on the weekend that you get your pay. Chances are everyone gets their pay the same week, so everyone would be doing their grocery shopping on the same weekend. If you really have to go, do it in the morning. At least you don't have to search for a parking space for too long. This saves time AND petrol.

2. Bills and banking

Do your bill payments and banking online. If you really have to queue, go early in the morning. Do not go nearing lunch time because it is more convenient for most people to take early lunch to settle any banking or bill payments.

3. Park

The further the parking space, the less people would want to park there. So.. do not waste time searching for a parking space near the entrance. Go straight to the back and park there if no parking space is visible once you enter. Another tip, if you see someone exiting and heading towards the parking space, follow them. Most of the time I get my parking space is by stalking these people. hehehehe.

4. Travel

Go on holidays on a non-school holiday. If you're single or married with no children, go during weekdays. You'll find that the hotel offer better rates as it's a non-peak season.

5. ASK for discounts

Don't be afraid to ask for discounts or free gifts. Call up your bank's customer hotline and request for a waiver on the annual fee of your credit card. Most of the time they would gladly do so because it's easier to hold on to their customer then to get a new one. ASK the sales person of your favourite store if they can give a discount on that item you really and if they can't, then ask them when's the next store sale and when the item's going to be on sale. When you buy at a store and owner's there, ask for discounts or even a free gift. It's easier to get them when you ask the owner then the sales person.

6. Calling goverment offices or GLCs.

Try calling during these hours:

8.30am-10am
11am-12pm
2.30pm-3.30pm

I've always stick to these times have yet to have any problem in reaching them.

7. Send your income tax early to avoid website congestion and getting you tax return early. I did mine as soon as the submission was open this year(early March) and guess what, I got my tax returns 2 weeks after my submission.. YEAY!!!!

So start planning and you'll turn from being unlucky to being lucky all the time!!!!

Of persistence and manipulation

An example of my daughter's persistence


Alia: Mak nak colour book ape?

Me: Mak tak nak colour lah.

Alia: Mak nak colour book ape?

Me: Alia pilih lah

Alia: MAK NAK COLOUR BOOK APE!!!???!! (Yes tone voice sudah tinggi)

Me: Tom & Jerry lah

Alia: (cheerfully and voice back to normal) Mak nak Tom & Jerry? Ini ke? Ok. Jom jom colour.



She has also mastered the art of manipulation, example:


Azalia found a bunch of cartoon pegs that I bought ages ago for some projects I had in mind and I was hiding it from her

Alia: Mak ni ape?

Me: Tu mak punya tu jangan kacau. Simpan balik.

Alia: Mak ni Alia punya ke?

Me: Mak punya. simpan simpan.

Alia: Oooo Mak punya?? Alia tengok boleh tak??

Me: Simpan. Tak yah tengok.

Alia: Alia nak tengoklah.. boleh lah.. pweassseee (mata kelip2.. ) cantiklah.

Me: Tengok kejap je. lepas tu simpan.

Alia: Ooooo cantiklah. Mak ni Alia punya kan. Mak beli untuk Alia kan. Thank you Mak. Alia saaayyyaaannngg Mak.

Me: Eh!!! Mane de.

Alia: Iye lah. Mak beli untuk Alia. Thank you. (went off with the pegs in her hand and kept it along with her other toys)

Me: HOW DID THIS HAPPEN??!!!!

Oh happy thoughts, where at thou?

This week is certainly bitter sweet. We had some good news and not so good news BUT I prefer to focus on the good news although some has chided me from ignoring on the not so good news.

It's not so much of ignoring it. I know it's there, I realise the effect it has on my friends and me... BUT I do not want to dwell on it. I prefer to focus on what is good and be happy.

Does that make me a lesser person?

Hmmm.... I don't think so. But when a few people comes to you and say

"what's so happy about it?"

"How could you just let it go?"

"You're the only one who thinks it's ok"

You tend to second guess yourself and whether you like it or not... instead of focusing on the good stuff, you start dwelling on the not so good stuff. Which is annoying because you just hate being unhappy.

Arghhhhh.....

Susu Ibu

My friend and I had a heated discussion on breastfeeding. It was so heated that we didn't see Azalia pushing her daughter (who is 2 years younger..thus.. still a baby). Why she pushed?? tak nak kasi pergi dekat TV katanye. Good intention but wrong action. Mama's fault for not watching you kids.

Anyway.. back to the breastfeeding story.

Ok first, my friend and I give our kids breastmilk. She breastfeeds while I bottle feed. She's still on it till now (daughter is 11 months) and I stopped when Azalia was about 10 months. We are very much pro breastmilk BUT what we were discussing on was the way people are trying to encourage mothers to breastfeed.

She's a doctor and currently in her hospital, all doctors and nurses are required to attend a lactation course. She was appalled by the way the presenters were judging non breastfeeding mothers. They didn't bother to understand the reason for their inability to breastfeed but go straight to being overly judgemental on them. Like WTH lah kan.

I think.. the best way to encourage mothers to breastfeed is to

1. Cheaper breastpump. seriously... the cheapest is a manual pump but even a good quality one cost a few hundred. One would argue that you save more compared to giving them formula, but forking out a huge sum at one time is a burder to some who have very low income. And plus, they dilute their formulas so that it would last more. Isn't that sad people.

2. Longer maternity leaves. 6 months paid and 6 months unpaid(optional of course). Enough said.

3. Lactation rooms at the office/workplace. Employers need to be understanding and provide this convenience for mothers. We don't want to pump in a toilet do we. Plus, clearly the country's workforce are dependant on women but at the same time women are expected to perform not just at work but also at home. So why not provide women some well deserved benefits. A lactation room isn't that hard to give. All we need is a room with a fridge. And of course electrical points. If that's too hard you wonder why mothers find it hard to exclusively breastfeed their child.

4. Did I mention cheaper breastpumps??!!!

If you have the money, knowledge and education yes you won't have any problems. But there are many others who do not have this privilege. So stop judging and start educating and solving. I think what should be in lactation courses is other than emphasisng on the benefits of mother's milk, one should also share experiences on how to express milk at work, the choices of breastpumps we have and their prices, sharing other problems and solutions to breastfeeding.

Mother's know the benefits of breastfeeding, they just need help in executing it.

Some good news.

We need a break. We desperately need a break.

So we book a flight to Perth for 6 days 5 nights.

YEAY!!!!!!

I want it to be a laid back holiday. No rushing, no hectic schedules... just some quiet time with the loved ones. So Perth is the perfect place for all that since it's a small city surrounded by national parks and farms.

Can't wait!!!!

But first... I have to hit the books. June is just around the corner.. sigh

Today and Tomorrow

Today I might be filled with grief and sorrow. But tomorrow, tomorrow I will hope again.

The Silent Love, Adrienne Ryan

Excerpts from the book which I found online. If only the book is available in Malaysia.

To those who don't know what to say but want to show that they care

"The greateast gift anyone can give grieving parents is the gift of understanding. But there is another great gift, the gift of acknowledgement - the acknowledgement that we had a child who died and that we have lost the potention of a life that, for us, held the promise of something quite extraordinary, the acknowledgement that our lives will never be the same again"

And this... explains exactly why it hurts.

"To move through the devastation of miscarriage was to mourn someone I had never actually known. The grief, in this case, involved the loss of the future, not of the past. Normally, when a person we are close to dies, our memories of that person help reconcile us to the loss. “But when a baby dies, no memories exist to help us reach such an acceptance. We are not able to look back and remember things about our own child that might make us smile, and it is this fact that is fundamental to the explanation of our grief and that makes it a grief unlike any other. It felt like a strange limbo, because even though I had lost a piece of the future, the future still beckoned with promise. This is the inherent paradox of miscarriage: Making one simultaneously open to both the possibility of death and the possibility of birth allows one to see just how closely intertwined the two actually are.”