Planning, organising and sticking to a routine.

So one way of dealing with the mess that I'm facing each day is to plan, organise and establishing a routine. But it only works if people actually follow my plan and organisation.

The thing is, you can't make an adult follow your habits because they have their own. Kids on the other hand can be moulded any way you want as long as you have lots and lots of patience.

So i gave up in making the husband follow my way because he has his own way and it works for him so fine. Better give up then feeling all stressed up about it.

Back to the planning and organising. It works most days but on days when everything goes haywire there's no more sticking to d plan and your routine goes out the window and it takes awhile for you to get back into it

Sigh.

But lets just focus on how it could work. Most days.

So the plan.

Get up before the baby's up which is 5am. Clean, pump, do whatever it is that I have to that I can't do if he's awake.

Pack nursery stuff and school stuff preferable the night before. If not possible, do it first thing in the morning.

Iron everyone's clothes on weekend. Uniforms, work shirts, baju kurungs, etc.

Do laundry early saturday morning so that it will dry and can fold either the day itself or Sunday. Somedays I'm lucky that mom does it. So a big hug there.

Get a rice cooker with Porridge function. Easier because due to Arfan's intolerance towards cow's milk I prefer sending home cooked meals to his nursery. Plus haven't had such luck with slow cooker.

Try getting everyone to sit down TOGETHER during the dinner time. Saves time.

TBC





P.s: no one suggest getting a maid to me pls because that is not an option and will not be an option anytime soon. Plus that comes with a whole set of other problems if I'm unlucky so no thanks.

My thoughts

Nowadays the only alone time i have with my thoughts are in the lrt, on my way to and from work.

Most days, I'd list down my to do list for the day, reflect on what i should or shouldn't have done and or just take a huge breather and blank because sometimes one needs a blank to recollect themselves.

Yes. Life with two kids is a whole lot of chaos. I start running around early in the morning and only get some rest when they are asleep. I'm lucky if they are asleep at the same time and I didnt fall asleep with them so that I can actually do some chores around the house which I have been neglecting nowadays.

Most days I feel calmer at work than at home. You see, at work, your boss gives you something to do, leave you alone to do it. At home you are constantly interrupted to complete whatever it is that you're supposed to do and have to be constantly vigilant with what they are up to. Its like trying to be a hawk and an ant at the sametime ( get it, hawk=vigilant, ant=busy... Ok i should work on that)

Don't get me wrong, I love, Super love spending time with my kids, but most times i find myself not doing that at home, there's the bottles and plates to be washed, laundry to be done, toys to be cleared, ironing, getting ready for school and nursery stuff, etc. And I'm left with little amount of time, especially on a weekday, to just really be with them.

Somedays i let everything go and just do whatever it is they want to do for the day, and forget about all the chores. But I feel judged for letting my family live in a mess. For not keeping whatever space that i have in the house in order.

So what is it that i want

I want to be able to hear every little thing my little chatterbox have to say about her day, herself, without me thinking there's some mess i have to clean up.

I want to be able to play with my baby before he grows up to be a toddler.

I want to sit down together with my kids without any electronic devises and have a good meal. Everyday.

I want the house cleaned, laundry done, utensils washed and cook and bake.

This is what i want, and i'm working towards getting it.

All the best to me.

Everything's fine and dandy

Read my last post and I thought people who read it must have think I've gone mad.. haha. 

I haven't.... yet. 

It was just something I needed at the time. To rant... so that I won't go all crazy on the people closest to me because lets face it... some of us do need to let it all out there once in a awhile. 

Anywaaayyyy... things have been fine or rather normal ever since then. I was right... it was the hormones. 

After the first few days of my menses, I felt better again. Also it helped that I had a few outings with good friends doing things without the kids a.k.a some 'me' time. This wouldn't be possible without an understanding husband who's willing to watch the kids while I'm away. He even succeeded in bringing the two to a wedding while I celebrated a friend's birthday and watched the awesomest movie of the year. So I came back to a hungry but well rested baby and a sugar high child, but who cares. They were alive and kicking and they had a great time with their father. 

Swamped.... to the point of not wanting to do anything.

Have you ever had this feeling of having so many things to do to the point of you don't feel like doing anything because WHERE DO I START????

I've been feeling this way since.. a few months back.

And today, I look around me and I see mess. A WHOLE LOT OF MESS. We've been living in a mess because I can't seem to clean it all up. And even I did, it only takes less than an hour for the kids (and their father) to make a mess again.

And I'm just not bothered anymore because apparently I'm the only bothered about it so FINE... I'm leaving it as it is.

And then there's the whole being a mother, wife and an employee thing. It doesn't stop. IT DOESN'T.

That is why I think people who says they can do it all are actually doing it all WITH A LOT OF HELP!!! or at least DECENT HELP.

And by help I mean HELP AT HOME.

Because seriously if you have to think about the kids all the time you can't be focusing on your work that much are you.

So let's be honest and just say you got help and not say I'm doing it all ON MY OWN. Because paying someone to do something that you're supposed to do IS NOT DOING IT ON MY OWN. Yes you pay people from your own pocket but YOU'RE NOT DOING IT ON YOUR OWN.

I'm not aiming at anyone in particular.. seriously I'm not. I don't even have a name in my head to aim this to because I'm just telling myself this because.. I realise that I can't do this on my own. Not without help. Because how am I suppose to leave the kids if no one is there to cook for them. How am I suppose to leave the kids if their logistics are not sorted. How am I supposed to leave the kids if no one is around to TAKE CARE OF THEM.

So yeah.. I need help. And right now I have my parents and my husband but only during weekdays because most weekends I'm on my own. Husband's around but NOT every weekend.

Ok I'm complaining and apparently you can't complain because YOU'RE A MOTHER but I don't care because its my first day of my menses and I'm going to blame whatever it is that I'm feeling today on my hormones.. That's right. I'm a woman and I GOT HORMONES that I can blame everything to. DAMN YOU FREAKING HORMONES.

sigh.

The end. Now where's that panadol. Stupid cramps.

p.s: the baby is safe with his father far away from his mommy who's not at the right frame of mind.

And I got a bunch of files I brought home from work which I have to get to because its due Monday but I DON'T WANT TO DO!! and my 5 year old daughter is complaining that I don't spend enough time with her.