Swamped.... to the point of not wanting to do anything.

Have you ever had this feeling of having so many things to do to the point of you don't feel like doing anything because WHERE DO I START????

I've been feeling this way since.. a few months back.

And today, I look around me and I see mess. A WHOLE LOT OF MESS. We've been living in a mess because I can't seem to clean it all up. And even I did, it only takes less than an hour for the kids (and their father) to make a mess again.

And I'm just not bothered anymore because apparently I'm the only bothered about it so FINE... I'm leaving it as it is.

And then there's the whole being a mother, wife and an employee thing. It doesn't stop. IT DOESN'T.

That is why I think people who says they can do it all are actually doing it all WITH A LOT OF HELP!!! or at least DECENT HELP.

And by help I mean HELP AT HOME.

Because seriously if you have to think about the kids all the time you can't be focusing on your work that much are you.

So let's be honest and just say you got help and not say I'm doing it all ON MY OWN. Because paying someone to do something that you're supposed to do IS NOT DOING IT ON MY OWN. Yes you pay people from your own pocket but YOU'RE NOT DOING IT ON YOUR OWN.

I'm not aiming at anyone in particular.. seriously I'm not. I don't even have a name in my head to aim this to because I'm just telling myself this because.. I realise that I can't do this on my own. Not without help. Because how am I suppose to leave the kids if no one is there to cook for them. How am I suppose to leave the kids if their logistics are not sorted. How am I supposed to leave the kids if no one is around to TAKE CARE OF THEM.

So yeah.. I need help. And right now I have my parents and my husband but only during weekdays because most weekends I'm on my own. Husband's around but NOT every weekend.

Ok I'm complaining and apparently you can't complain because YOU'RE A MOTHER but I don't care because its my first day of my menses and I'm going to blame whatever it is that I'm feeling today on my hormones.. That's right. I'm a woman and I GOT HORMONES that I can blame everything to. DAMN YOU FREAKING HORMONES.

sigh.

The end. Now where's that panadol. Stupid cramps.

p.s: the baby is safe with his father far away from his mommy who's not at the right frame of mind.

And I got a bunch of files I brought home from work which I have to get to because its due Monday but I DON'T WANT TO DO!! and my 5 year old daughter is complaining that I don't spend enough time with her.