Missing...

I still picture him in this house somehow. On the chair he used to fall asleep. By the dining table where he usually reads his morning papers. In front of the TV.. also falling asleep. Yeah.. he sleeps a lot. But he would call us sleepyheads when we wake up late. sheesh.

I can't help but think about him whenever I see anything that reminds me of him. Heck.. even going to work reminds me of him because he would always insist me on calling him whenever any dividends are announced.

I can't eat at McD or drink coke without thinking about him because he loves coke and always order fish and chips when we're at McD.

The other day I found his old police book, where he jots down the important events in his life. First day of work, first transfers, first time using a gun(he was a policeman), first time throwing hand grenades. And a huge chunk of it are on his first memories of my grandmother. He loved her a lot. But was very ego about it. Sense it though because he would be the first to organise a birthday kenduri for my grandmother and would present her jewelleries on her birthday. Although his daughters are more excited because they get to choose and present it to their mother.

I miss him dearly.

Towards the end of his life, I found things I never knew about him. I wish I knew it before. And would have asked him to tell me the stories himself. Takdelah dok repeat cerita kejar org jahat mane ntah smpi masuk longkang. Yeah.. I have no idea why but he tends to tell us that story over and over again. Maybe at the time he feels its hillarious. But he never told us about that time when he was police chief and caught the baddest bank robber in Batu Pahat. Apeeelah.

Yeah.. that was my arwah grandfather. Humble to the very end.

I really should not dwell in the past. I should move on. But its barely a week and I could still picture him clearly. Its hard not to. I lived with him for so many years. Around 5years when I was in school and from 3 years back to recently.

He was my awesome grandfather who would take us out when we were small to go for amusement rides. Everytime we come to visit, he would have a bag full of coins for us to splurge on the rides. We had nothing but great memories of him.

He survived 2 strokes in his life. I've always thought he was strong and determined. I was hoping he would get through it this time. But it wasn't a stroke, it was old age. And it was his time.

I pray that Allah bless his soul and he would be di kalangan orang2 yang dikasihi Allah s.w.t.

Al-fatihah. AMIN.