Of old age.

My grandfather has been in and out of the hospital for the past few months. He has his good days but they are minimal compared to his bad days. Right now, he's back in the hospital. He looks weak. I'm not used to seeing him this weak. The other day we had a scare when he suddenly collapsed and was semi concious. He was slurring a bit. I thought he had another stroke. But turned out he was so exhausted. Kidney and heart is not functioning well. It's almost time he would say with that cheeky smile on his face.

He's always joking about how his time is near. He would say my first house is this house, my second house is the hospital and my third house is where I'm going next. Always with a laugh at the end.

It's inevitable I know, but you can't help but feel sad and in denial a bit right!!.

Anyway looking at how my parents are taking care of him, attending to him at home, at the hospital, my mom sleeping there when he was extra weak. And going to work the next day. My uncles taking turns being there for him at the hospital, taking his medication at the hospital.. etc... basically its hard work. Sure you love your parents and would do anything you can for them , but at the same time, life goes on and you have to go to work, tend to your own family and other obligations to tend to.

I pray that I would be as strong as my parents when their time comes. And for that, I need to make sure I have a flexible job, (or maybe not work when the time comes..hehe), kids are all grown up and can take care of themselves(its easier.. you don't have to worry about them and focus on your parents more) and are financially ready to bear any costs that they can't handle themselves (which I think they can manage but who knows.. which also reminds me to save for when my time comes because its not cheap to have some comfort in your later years i tell you).

Plus, it helps to have lots of kids. They can take turns seeing you at the hospital, bring you for checkups, get your medications, at least the burden won't fall on only one person.. haha. If Azalia is my only child, I have told my cousins whom I took care of when they were little and still sometimes do now, that I expect them to take care of me when I'm old just like how they would take care of their mom. "Ye kakak Anis" they answered.. hehe. Must make voice record so they would keep their word.. HAHAHAHA.

I pray that whatever time my grandfather has left in this world, he would not suffer. I pray that we would be there with him when his time has come. I pray to Allah the Merciful that He would make it easy for my grandfather.