This is oh so random

In need of motivation

2012-01-19T11:19:00.002+08:00

Have some datelines to meet but can't seem to get myself moving. In need of some motivation hence 30S2M: Closer to the edge is on full blast today.

"Don't regret anything that you do, because in the end it makes you who you are"

-some guy on the "Closer to the edge" clip-

Time or things?

2012-01-18T10:25:00.003+08:00

Read this article in the star this morning and it reflects what's on my mind recently.

I totally agree with the author when she wrote:

Providing the best for our children is not about being a stay-at-home parent. It is about being an aware and always present parent, and about allowing children to be children and ensuring that above all else, they feel loved by the foundation of family before they go out on their own in life.

When children come from a home that is full of love, patience, discipline and respect, they always have a place to come back to in their mind and will forever be blessed with having the best life has to offer.

Some days I can be one of those parents who would give what my daughter wants just because I felt guilty for having to work late, or not spending enough time with her etc. But at the end of the day, I knew giving her that toy she wants are just temporary. I could see the difference in her when I give her my full attention and just play with her or have a decent conversation with her instead of just giving her stuff. Time spent with her even if it just means spending time doing some activity book with her for an hour is always time she loves more than her playing alone with that expensive kitchen I got her.

I also realise that even if I'm at home the whole day but I'm busy with errands or doing work from home, it's still not time spent with her. Time spent with her is time playing with, doing things together and not just her at one corner doing her own thing and me doing my own thing.

It took my strong willed daughter to make me realise this because she told me..straight to my face.. when I was surfing the net.. hehe. And I'm glad she did. (although she still wants those toys but I have to play with her laa.. aiseh)

I realise that whether I'm a FTWM or a SAHM.. I can still give them my best. My daughter understands I have to work because I took the time to explain and tell her what I do and why I do it. But she also knows that when I'm at home.. I'm hers.

You've got to find what you love

2012-01-16T12:22:00.003+08:00

'You've got to find what you love,' Jobs says
This is a prepared text of the Commencement address delivered by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it's likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope it's the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

Change

2012-01-16T11:49:00.002+08:00

(after Little Miss's wedding]
Andrew: Sir, is everything all right?
Sir: Umm. They've both gone now, Andrew. Well, things change, things always change. People move on. It's as it should be. But, what I realized today is that I'll never stop missing them.

-Bicentennial Man-

There is a saying that in life the only thing that is constant is change. Thus we should embrace it, welcome it, accept it, so that we can evolve, grow and improve ourselves,and hopefully be a better person.

However I find myself trying to protect my daughter from it. Worrying how she would accept change, hoping that nothing changes and everything remains status quo so she wouldn't have to go through the stress that comes with change.

But life must go on and I have to learn to let go. That for her to grow to be the best she can ever be she must welcome change. Change is imminent and it is a natural process for everyone. To grow, one must accept change. To learn, one must embrace change.

Why would I unfriend(on FB) a person.. just to clarify.

2012-01-13T10:13:00.002+08:00

Had an outburst on FB (which I rarely do because I do not want any conflict on the web because I always felt virtual expression causes more harm than good) due to my disagreements with someone's statement on her FB regarding a product she's selling.

Felt the claim was irresponsible. I mean sell what you want.. seriously.. but make responsible claims about your product. If you argue about the halal and haram of your product... your product might be halal if you put false claims about your product it becomes haram because you are basically deceiving people.

If doctors can't say that a particular medication can cure you 100% of a disease because it is irresponsible for them to do that.. what makes you think u can say that just because a few claim it 'works' for them.

Oh well..

I've unfriended the person (on FB). Not because I no longer wish to talk to her. I would still say hi if I see her personally... but the unfriending on facebook is just so I stop seeing her status and seeing her account and get myself all worked out about it since we're not on the same page about certain or rather most things. I did unsubscribe but my curiousity always gets the better of me especially when I'm bored.. so that apparently didn't work. I'm only human and this is what I can do to be a better person.

The last wedding.

2011-12-13T12:35:00.003+08:00

Finally my parents married off their last child. It has been a crazy couple of days but everything turned out well. Sure there were a few hiccups here and there but every event have those.

And what about the dais that I mentioned before? Well, they delivered although they only started setting it up at 1am in the morning and finished at 5am on the night before the solemnisation. I didn't sleep because I was monitoring them and I was practically a zombie on the day of the solemnisation. I had to stay away from my daughter for fear of snapping at her even at the smallest thing because I was tired and cranky. But God bless Azalia because she understood her mother well and played with her aunts and uncles happily.

They added some decorations on the backdrop because they thought our idea was a bit too plain. I was not quite sure of it at first but it turned out to be a good idea because most of the flowers on the sides of the dais were removed when we had pictures with relatives taken to fit everyone on the dais.

Although I was a wee bit upset that it took them that long but when they apologised profusely on the delay I felt better. See... all it takes is some humble words to soften the client's heart. We understand that humans make mistakes but we feel better if you acknowledge it.

Food was great for both days. Well they did cater for most of our function so I don't think they would screw that up. Having a chocolate fountain on the day was a real treat for the kids and I think the parents were very happy because it kept the kids occupied. They kept saying what a good idea it was.

We had some of both Johor and Sarawak culture added to the day with Nasi Temuan and throwing candies and coins to the kids.

The make up that I booked for my sister was excellent. I wished I had her on my wedding. RM800 for 2 days.. very affordable right!! Just google Vanz Lee and you can see her portfolio.

The door gifts that I got for the solemnisation was a hit too.. hehehe I loved them. It was worth carrying them up and down the lrt when I'm already 6 months pregnant. Got them at Semua House in Jalan Tuanku Abdul Rahman.

For the reception the next day, my father estimated about 1800 guest and we were very doubtful that it would be that many but it turned out... there were that many. At one time the hall and the canopies outside were so full because everyone was waiting for the bride and groom to arrive before making their move that I had to call my sister and tell her to hurry up because a lot of people were standing around waiting for empty seats. But apparently many didnt mind waiting because the food was good and plenty. So a reminder for any functions... good food equals happy guests.

The handbouquet for the solemnisation were lovely. It was a mix of white and pink cymbidium orchid and pink carnation. However I think the 6 calla lillies for the reception was a bit too simple.

My sister got the gamelan that she wanted for the reception. We were surprised to see there were a silat performance and malay dance performance because we didnt plan for any of that. Apparently it was the caterer's idea. He mentioned there will be a little performance to my dad but my dad thought it was no biggie and didn't mention it to any of us. He didn't expect that though. haha. But the kids enjoyed so it was worth the wait.

We checked in our relatives from Kuching into PNB Darby Park. My father wanted to give them a treat for flying all the way for his youngest daughter's wedding and thought it was a good place to stay.We booked 4 3-bedroom apartments (about 10 families came) and were surprised on how huge they were. They loved the place and the location because they love shopping.. HAHA. I assigned my brother and Asa as drivers to get them to and from the wedding for both the wedding. We borrowed the big cars from my uncle and my brother's father in law to ferry them to and fro.

Overall I think it was a success. And it was a great one too for the youngest child and the last wedding in the family. My parents were the happiest and I think my sister is just glad that everything is over.

To my sister, may you have a wonderful marriage and make lots of babies because I want many nephews and nieces.. heheheheh.

To make you feel my love ~ Adele

2011-12-07T17:14:00.002+08:00

A song I dedicate to my daughter and soon-to-be son. It is true what they say, the love that you have for your children is tremendous.

To make you feel my love ~ Adele

When the rain
Is blowing in your face
And the whole world
Is on your case
I could offer you
A warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows
And the stars appear
And there is no - one there
To dry your tears
I could hold you
For a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you
Haven't made
Your mind up yet
But I would never
Do you wrong
I've known it
From the moment
That we met
No doubt in my mind
Where you belong

I'd go hungry
I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling
Down the avenue
Know there's nothing
That I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging
On the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change
Are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing
Like me yet

I could make you happy
Make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends
Of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love, To make you feel my love

source; http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/a/adele/#share

Terrible twos... and threes.

2011-12-05T11:52:00.001+08:00

Being the only one with a child among your peers can be daunting.

First you don't have anyone to exchange notes with. Sure you have your mom and aunt.. but again, they are NOT your peers hence different wavelengths.Hence, you have to go to the internet, books, articles in the newspaper for some idea on how to handle parenting the way that suits you.

Second, you tend to leave your child behind to have meals with your friends because honestly, you can't really have decent conversation with your friends with your child demanding attention from you every 5 minutes, 10 if you're lucky. Hence, you multi task, but still... no one likes to talk to someone who at the same time is saying "Don't touch that" "What was it? you want more soup?" "Stop!!! don't play with your food!!" every few minutes or so.

Third, having to go through the whole terrible two and three stage all on your own. Your partner not included. That is a mind boggling, hair pulling, constant screaming and crying (from both parties) stage because OMG... your child suddenly turns from the sweet ever-smiling baby to a screaming, full of tantrum child who just couldn't be reasoned with.

So I let her cry... A LOT.

AND

I had to have a lot more "me" time than usual. (I had to.. to remain sane. Thankfully Asa understood this and just took her away from me when needed)

AND

not to forget the endless guilt because you're just not sure whether you're doing the right thing or not because... you know the phrase "you gotta be cruel to be kind" well... you kind of have to do A LOT of that, but it doesn't really make you feel good.

HAIH.

But yeah.. now my daughter's four.. and I'm glad we've passed that stage. I'm not saying she's over the whole temper tantrum's phrase she is after all still a toddler, but its easier now.

And now I'm watching my friends slowly entering that stage with their kids and I'm glad I was over mine. Well at least for this one. The next one will be in a couple of years time so I'll worry about that later.

Only advice I could think of is....take a break. When you feel like losing it, just walk away. They'll scream and yell for you but if you stay with them, you'll just lose it so just walk away and deal with it when both of you are calmer (usually when they've exhausted themselves and just sobbing and in tears) . But honestly this is easier said than done. hehe.

Oh no!! It's here!!

2011-12-04T01:46:00.003+08:00

Lately, I'm easily annoyed. Too easy. Much easier than usual. And mood swings are back too.

Oh no...Don't tell me the best part of pregnancy is over. Bye bye second trimester? No more sudden surge of energy and happy hormones? Say hello to being uncomfortable and very moody hormones??

Aisehman.

Azalia's been getting some of the heat lately and she's staying clear of me whenever she sensed I'm moody. Ye lah tetiba nak marah sah2 something wrong somewhere. I'm surprised how aware she is with my moods. But I should really get my mood in check. It really is not fair to a 4 year old even if she knows how to handle it. Or to anyone actually. Sigh. You'd think that admitting you have a problem would help you solve it..haiyaaa.

I hate feeling like this. Plus... what with everything going on at home currently definitely NOT making it easier. Organising a wedding can be such a chore. Although I pretty much try to stay out of it unless asked to, it still effects me since I'm living under the same roof. Haih.. Glad mine was so fast we didn't have to prolong the chaos. And glad this is the final one in the family insyaAllah. Just wished it's not happening at a time when I'm so easily annoyed. It's so not fair to everyone if I keep being moody. Pray it'll go away soon.

With wedding bells in the air, Azalia kept on asking about marriage. The other day she asked me why I married her father. I said because abah awak tak marah mak balik bila mak marah.

And to our surprise she said " Oooo mak ada cari abah lain mula2? mak cari satu dia marah, lepas tu satu lagi dia marah jugak, lepas tu mak jumpa abah yang ini tak marah balik baru mak kawen? Lepas tu dapat anak sebab tu Azalia Binti Azhari?

We just laughed and nodded because we were just stunned on how she deduced that from my answer.

ALIMKids PJ PROMO!!!

2011-11-30T17:29:00.004+08:00

Being me.. again.

2011-11-30T11:33:00.003+08:00

It's been awhile since the last time I've kept track of my finances. Apparently being pregnant this time around has lowered my motivation to do what I have always enjoyed doing before, tracking/growing/saving basically anything to do with my money.

However, thanks to years of tracking and budgeting, my finances are not out of control yet eventhough I havent looked at it for months now. And yes... this baby loves to spend, much like the father yes?

I have made several impulsive buys, something which I don't usually do. Heck I even think twice when it comes to buying a bottle of water. Azalia is getting the most fun out of it though, I suppose she sensed how easy it is for mummy to spend lately.

But I think I'm slowly gaining my identity back. I've started to read those financial blogs I usually frequent and I've at least opened my excel and updated a few things. And my mind is working to grow the business that I've always envisioned I would have.

Aaaahhhh to be yourself again is liberating.

I must say Asa has been wonderful in letting me spend. Not judging and actually encouraging.. haha... But I think he must be relieved that I've finally switched off this spending spree I was on.

Now back to reducing cost and boosting income.

But.... I haven't really bought any baby stuff yet.. hehe.

Bengang mode.

2011-11-28T18:33:00.002+08:00

Since I did not have a pelamin when I got married, I really don't have any experience in dealing with this.

But when my parents were dealing with it during my brother's wedding, It was rather straightforward so I thought.. what the heck, sis wants fresh flowers pelamin for her nikah so I thought of doing the leg work for her.

Urghh I wish I hadn't volunteered my service.

After looking around the web, I finally settled on this one vendor, I thought their ideas were young, fresh and when I met the owner, she was very helpful and I felt good about it so I booked them.

Told them roughly what we wanted, sis showed the picture of the dais she wanted and they told us to go back and finalise a few things till the next meeting. This was 5 or 6 months before the wedding.

So come november, and I found out the owner, the person we dealt with is pregnant and is due on Nov. She told us not to worry, her older sister will take care of everything.

So I called and texted the sister, I ask to meet up, at our house so I could show her where we wanted the dais etc etc and also since we havent met her (the sister) yet, so it would in some ways give me some peace of mind knowing who I'm dealing with and the answer that was given to me was.... "there's no need to meet. It's just a mini pelamin. Usually we don't really meet up for mini pelamins. Even the big pelamins we don't. Clients just trust us. "

And I'm at a total loss of word. Like.. seriously!!! Is that really how things works? Look... this is my first time but I do think we need to meet to finalise things..Don't we? I mean the last time we spoke was freaking 6 months ago and it wasn't even with you. IT WAS WITH YOUR SISTER!!!

And even if you think its not necessary and a totally waste of time, I'm your freaking client who wants to meet you for goodness sake because I've never meet you before so why in the world its so hard for you to arrange that AT LEAST!!! And mind you bukan nak jumpa 10 kali pun. Satu kali je.. SATU KALI.

Told her my concerns, nicely, told her my parents are concern (well they did ask about it) and she finally agreed to send us at least a sketch. ( at least I can tell if its as we've discussed or not. Although.. I'm still a bit concerned with the colours..sigh)

I just pray that it turns out the way my sister wants it. Actually I pray my parents will like it.

Honestly, I don't like her tone when she spoke to me. Like my business is not important enough for her. Urghh.

Sing a song

2011-11-25T12:00:00.000+08:00

Azalia has been singing a lot of her own songs lately. She told me one time

"Dlm brain Alia kan mak ada banyak lagu. Alia tengah keluarkan satu-satu"

Funny girl.

The other day she was taking a bath and sang a song about playing with water.

I guess she's at the age where she's exploring her creative her side.

Muhasabah diri.

2011-11-22T11:16:00.001+08:00

Anytime any misfortune befalls me, I would pause and do some self reflection, after all, semua ujian itu datang dari Allah. I must have done or didn't do something that may have displeased Him. Afterall, I am His humble servant who continuesly make mistakes in life and needed some self reminder every now and then.

And yes I realise that lately I have been taking some of my obligations towards Him rather lightly using my current condition to justify my actions. Tsk tsk tsk. But sesungguhnhya He is the most merciful and most compassionate, reminding me to buck up and do what I'm supposed to do instead of letting me be.

May this be a reminder to not just me but Asa too. Ameen.

6 years

2011-11-18T15:01:00.001+08:00

We got married quite early. We were 22. Were we ready? I'm not sure myself, but I knew the commitment and responsibility that comes with a marriage and I thought.. heck... if our mothers think we're ready than why not.

We had fun being students and married. We traveled, no kids, studied together and had friends over. Plus being abroad means no weekend visits to the parents house so we actually had a lot of time... just us.

Of course we had our arguments. Living together meant getting used to each others quirks and habits. And it wasn't all easy. Asa decided to take up my bad habits and I was annoyed by that because... 2 of me is a bit too much. hehe.

But were there any regrets being married so early? OMG no!!.

I have to say that final year, was the best year I had in the UK because I had a family by my side. My husband.

And now, this year, last August, we've been married for 6 years. And the knot that was tied six years ago gets tighter everyday. Having Azalia around is a blessing and having another baby on the way is just icing on the cake.

Sure we have more years to go but after everything that we've been through, we knew we would have each other's back.

My friends once asked me... how do you know, six years ago.. that he's the one.

Simple.

He can put up with me when I'm at my worst, and I can put up with him when he's at his worst. Plus I can see myself spending the rest of my life with him. And I hope he can too.

Whatever it is.. a marriage is not a bed of roses. Heck.. you'll have really bad arguments that you're thinking.. WHY AM I PUTTING UP WITH THIS??!! But saying sorry helps.. A LOT. even when you don't think you're wrong. Putting your ego aside and communicate and spend time with each other helps you get through it. And having sometime without the kids once in awhile even if its just for an hour having drinks helps to maintain a loving relationship.And privacy.. yes even when you're married.. both of you would still love some privacy.

To Asa-chan.. It might be the hormones that's making me extra clingy and affectionate nowadays but you know how I feel, so always remember that especially after March 2012, when your son is born and we have less time for each other..hehe.

The story of the cash register

2011-11-17T07:31:00.001+08:00

Azalia had played on Uncle Aarif's cash register toy for awhile. And she kept saying how she loved it. I thought of buying her one but never really looked for one whenever I'm out shopping.

However the other day while at T*sco, I spotted a home brand cash register toy.. ON SALE!!! The think I like about it's home brand's toys are it's sturdy and safe like F*isher P*ice and but it's half the price. And when it's on sale... MEMANG A BARGAIN!! One time I got those shape sorter type of toy for only RM10!!..

Anyway.. back to the original story... the price was only RM30 (50% off) and I just grab it because honestly those flimsy ones also would cost at least RM50.

But guess who was excited to play with the thing??? hehehehe ME!!!!.. serious cool ok. I thought it only had the cash register thing but noooooo... it had a card swiper with actual sweeping sound. A mic you can talk into that actually works. A scanner that actually makes that beeping sound that the scanners at the store makes and the cash register is actually a calculator that actually works.

And Azalia's reaction when she got it?

" Ooo mummy you're so kind you're so good.. I love it very much..... kenapa mak beli ni mak?" heheheheh

Nampak sangat mak nye tak selalu beli toy. Kalau beli mesti bersebab. Oh well.. thank your little brother because apparently ever since I'm carrying him I'm spending without any second thought.. OH NO!!..hehe

Boy!!.. It was a pretty awesome week.

2011-11-14T11:45:00.001+08:00

Brought Azalia to the doctor on Wednesday (9.11.11) to see the gender of the baby. And before the doctor told us what it was, I could see the 'thing' right in the middle.

Yes... it's a boy!!. Syukur Alhamdulillah.

But apparently it wasn't good news for Azalia. She cried and said how she wanted a sister and ordered the doctor to say it's a girl. But all the doctor could do was say.. mummy will try again next time.. ok? erk!!

She only calmed down after I said having a baby bro would actually be a good thing for her because her baby bro will grow up to be strong and can defend her against anyone who likes to tease her.

Afif boleh mak? Yeah her uncle Afif teases her A LOT!! and he's 13 ok!!!.

I said sure.. why not... And she immediately smiled and cheered about having a baby brother.

Oh boy.

haha.

But overall it was a very good week last week. We found out the gender of the baby. I was on holiday from work. Although Azalia had fever since Eiduladha but she was her usual active self so it wasn't much to worry about except the high temperature she would suddenly get in the middle of the night for 2 nights in a row. (My worry mode kicked in and thought it was dengue but God had mercy on me and the it immediately came down during daytime. )

Asa had a good run with his propery project.

A really good friend got married and we got to see some old friends that we haven't seen for quite sometime at the reception...

So all in all a pretty awesome week.

And you know how sometimes you're having a good run you're just waiting for things to go wrong? well... it crossed my mind today but I'm praying it won't.

First concert!!!!

2011-10-17T10:55:00.001+08:00

I was an extremely proud mom on Sunday, 17.10.11 at 4.30pm. It was Azalia's first concert. Heck, it was her first time on stage performing!!!.

Unlike her mother, she was a natural on stage. Early that morning she was already asking us to go and get ready, but I had to tell her that her concert was in the evening. Every hour she would check with me if its time and she didn't fuss when I told her to eat because she knew she needs energy to dance that evening.

At 2pm, I was putting on her make up and she wanted to put on her constume straight away but I didn't want to because I wanted her to be comfortable during the ride there.

To be honest.. I was nervous. I hated performing. Mom put me in a lot of shows and I hated every single moment of them. I didn't want her to inherit that. And clearly she didnt. Because she was so happy and excited to be there. She even told me to put her blankie in her bag and get the best seats so that she can see me from the stage. I happily obliged.

When it was her group's turn to perform I could see the teachers ushering them on stage and she had an apprehensive look on her face. I waved to her excitedly calling out her name because I was scared she wouldn't perform if she didnt see us, and as soon as she saw us, she gave the biggest smile, waved and gave me a thumbs up. She took her place on stage and got ready for the song.

Oh how she danced.

I was so proud of her. My eyes were on her most of the time. I didnt really care about the other kids because my daughter is up there and she's doing her best and she's enjoying it to the fullest. I could see her mouthing the words to the song and she followed the rhythm perfectly.

I wanted to scream her name but remembered her telling me not to be so noisy because she doesn't want to be distracted.. haha ye lah.

Asa told me to calm down and stop waving. Hek eleh.

Whatever it is. I am so very proud of her. And I thought she was the best among her group. (biased much?? hehe)

When I picked her up from the back of the stage she said.. "I had lots of fun mummy" with the biggest grin on her face. And she asked when the next concert will be.

I look forward for more performances from her and I am super glad she didn't inherit my stage fright!!!!!!!!

Go slow, win the race.

2011-10-14T10:20:00.000+08:00

Asked Azalia about her progress in school. For her reading, she is currently at book 4 while one of her classmates is at book. So I asked her,

Me: Why Brian is at book 8 and you're at book 4? Brian so fast and you're still at book 4.

Azalia: (smiling and speaking calmly) Mak, Alia go slow slow then only I will win the race.

Me: Erk....

Maybe I should have emphasized the lesson of that rabbit and turtle race better. Sigh.

Do you love me ??

2011-10-06T06:12:00.002+08:00

I have a habit that just won't go away.. that people might think that I'm a bit too clingy. I think it was because I didn't get enough attention from my parents when I was a kid.. you know.. the whole middle child syndrome thing. Hehehehe.

Anyway..before I was married I would pose this question to my mom everyday

" Sayang Anis tak???"

And she would have a standard reply of "yes" everytime. Although sometimes it would go " Apekene awak ni" .. hehehehe

And then when I got married.. It was posed to dear hubs too..almost everyday... and slightly (only slightly) less to my mom.. kekeke ( How insecure can u get???)

And when I had Azalia and she started talking.. I posed the same question to Azalia.

Ok.. the point of the story is.. The other day I asked Azalia

Me: Sayang mak tak?
Azalia: Sayang..sayang. Mak tiap2 hari pun mak tanya. Tiap2 hari pun Alia sayang. Mak cukuplah k. Tak yah tanya dah. Ni last Alia cakap k.

UWAAAA baru 2 years ( I think I started asking her when she was 2+) tanya dah bosan dah... HUHUHUHU.

It's been awhile....

2011-09-29T05:05:00.003+08:00

Recent event have made me stop blogging for awhile. This is due to the vomiting and headaches and constant seasick feeling it has caused me.

Yes.. I'm pregnant.

And yes... the morning sickness was bad.... really bad.

Plus not to mention finding out I was pregnant scared me a bit. What with the whole 3 miscarriages incident I had.. But all's good now. InsyaAllah. Baby is in its 15th week and it's still hanging on in there.

Azalia is excited at the thought of being a sister. She's been praying for mommy to have a baby for almost a year now. Just before I found out I was preggers she actually got impatient and asked where's the baby she's been praying for. Well Alia.. Allah heard you now you have to do your part to be the good sister ok.

It might be the hormones or it might be the situation I'm currently in... but whatever it is... I find myself re-evaluating my life. The thing is..I've never been the sort of person to have a 5 or 10 years plan in life. Heck I don't even have a 1 year plan in life. I plan and organise my daily life but I don't plan my whole life which makes me think that maybe along the way I've missed a few opportunities.

But I've always believed that God has a plan for you. That whenever I'm at a crossroads I would turn to him to lead me to the best decision for me and my family. And yes... that is what I've been doing so far. Do I have any regrets??? Honestly.. not really. But I think I'm just unsure where do I go from here. What's the next step I should be taking. Hmmm... Istikharah time perhaps?

Whatever is it..first things first.. Getting this baby safely out into this world. To be honest I think I'm beginning to understand why only now I'm meant to have another child... Be safe little one. Your sister has already made all sorts of plans for you.

Being a mother

2011-09-29T04:59:00.003+08:00

You think that true love is the only thing that can crush your heart; that will take your life and light it up or destroy it. Then you become a mother

Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy season 8x01

Mak nak ubat?

2011-07-21T14:35:00.002+08:00

I'm not well.It's almost a week already

Azalia wants me to play with her but I can't.

When she saw me coughing non-stop, she finally stopped whining and said

"Mak.. kalau mak nak makan ubat nanti Alia amik ok. Mak rest saja"

and off she goes playing on her own.

Aaaahhhhh I'm so blessed to have u Alia.

Al-fatihah and 3 Qul.

2011-07-20T12:25:00.001+08:00

I noticed early on what good memory Azalia has and how she picks up songs easily... so I've decided to teach her to memorise some short surahs ever since she was 2.

We started with Al-Fatihah and we would routinely recite Al-Fatihah before we got to sleep. A few months later she could already recite them by heart although her pronounciations still need work. Then I decided to move on to the 3 Qul. We would recite one of the 3 qul each night along with Al-Fatihah and syukur alhamdulillah she can recite them by heart at the age of 4.

I am glad I thought her to recite these surah by memory because when my arwah Tok Wan was on his death bed and the adults were reading the quran and reciting yassin... Azalia came to me and wanted to do the same too. I told her to recite Al-Fatihah and she did and I could see as she was reciting them with all her heart, my grandfather tried his hardest to look at her. And then.. looking at everyone holding and reading the Quran.. she insisted on taking out her Muqaddam and started to read the arabic letters...and I found it heartwarming to see this girl reading on top of her lungs.. alif..ba..ta.. hoping it would help her great grandfather.

I guess she's ready to start learning how to read the Quran.

What's your child's talent

2011-07-20T11:34:00.002+08:00

Was researching for teaching materials for both ALIMKids and Azalia.

Anyway I found this quiz and have to say it helps in identify Azalia's interest.

Try it!!!

Of books and Stories

2011-07-19T17:21:00.002+08:00

Azalia and I have a routine. Before she sleeps I will either read her a story or tell her one. She always tries to get the most of books or stories. She would negotiate with me to have up to 5 either books or stories. I always try to bring the number down because either I was too tired or it was already late. So if she were on her best behaviour and I was very happy with her that day she would have a 3 of either books or stories.

Azalia is not someone who easily goes to sleep. When other kids are tired, they would slow down and let themselves fall asleep, she does the opposite. She gets really hyper and more active than normal. So it caught me by surprise when she actually negotiated with me that if she goes to sleep early can she actually get more books and stories. Of course I said yes. I was more than happy to obliged.

So what books do I read to her and what stories do I tell her? I usually let her pick the books. But I say no to the long ones. She tends to ask me to read the same book over and over again. It gets a little dull after awhile. When that happens I ask her to choose a different one. Sometimes she would agree, sometimes she insists on the book she wants.

And stories... mostly are made up. Sometimes I would re-tell the stories she read but I prefer the made up ones because she can tell when I forget the storyline of the ones we read. So she would always interrupt me. Of course, after awhile, she can remember the made up ones, and would point out if I miss any storyline.

I love this routine but of course there are times when I just want to sleep.

We were here first.

2011-07-12T09:51:00.002+08:00

I am tempted to be in hibernation and hiding lately.Yep.. mood swing is at its worst. Asa's in Manila for work for a week and I'm supposed to go with him but due to certain circumstances.. can't. Although I've bought the tics. Oh well...

Anyway... found this book

at Bookxcess(love the prices!!!!) and it definitely provided me the comic relief I need in being a mother of a very very active 4 year old. I've always loved their comic strips even when I wasn't a mother. But after being one.. it all just makes sense.

Recommended to all mothers with sense of humour.

Missing...

2011-06-20T13:50:00.000+08:00

I still picture him in this house somehow. On the chair he used to fall asleep. By the dining table where he usually reads his morning papers. In front of the TV.. also falling asleep. Yeah.. he sleeps a lot. But he would call us sleepyheads when we wake up late. sheesh.

I can't help but think about him whenever I see anything that reminds me of him. Heck.. even going to work reminds me of him because he would always insist me on calling him whenever any dividends are announced.

I can't eat at McD or drink coke without thinking about him because he loves coke and always order fish and chips when we're at McD.

The other day I found his old police book, where he jots down the important events in his life. First day of work, first transfers, first time using a gun(he was a policeman), first time throwing hand grenades. And a huge chunk of it are on his first memories of my grandmother. He loved her a lot. But was very ego about it. Sense it though because he would be the first to organise a birthday kenduri for my grandmother and would present her jewelleries on her birthday. Although his daughters are more excited because they get to choose and present it to their mother.

I miss him dearly.

Towards the end of his life, I found things I never knew about him. I wish I knew it before. And would have asked him to tell me the stories himself. Takdelah dok repeat cerita kejar org jahat mane ntah smpi masuk longkang. Yeah.. I have no idea why but he tends to tell us that story over and over again. Maybe at the time he feels its hillarious. But he never told us about that time when he was police chief and caught the baddest bank robber in Batu Pahat. Apeeelah.

Yeah.. that was my arwah grandfather. Humble to the very end.

I really should not dwell in the past. I should move on. But its barely a week and I could still picture him clearly. Its hard not to. I lived with him for so many years. Around 5years when I was in school and from 3 years back to recently.

He was my awesome grandfather who would take us out when we were small to go for amusement rides. Everytime we come to visit, he would have a bag full of coins for us to splurge on the rides. We had nothing but great memories of him.

He survived 2 strokes in his life. I've always thought he was strong and determined. I was hoping he would get through it this time. But it wasn't a stroke, it was old age. And it was his time.

I pray that Allah bless his soul and he would be di kalangan orang2 yang dikasihi Allah s.w.t.

Al-fatihah. AMIN.

Al-fatihah

2011-06-16T19:11:00.002+08:00

Al-Fatihah to Allahyarham Mohd Yatim Mohd Salleh.

He was a great man. A loving husband, father, grandfather and a very cheeky great grandfather.

We miss him dearly but he is in a better place right now insyaAllah.

I wish we had more time with him, but he lived a full and happy life. No regrets. And no debts he would so happily say.

To colour or not to colour

2011-05-23T09:18:00.002+08:00

Azalia doesn't like to colour with crayons or colour pencils. She prefers to paint. She can colour and when she wants to and she can do it nicely, within the lines and all. But she doesn't like to colour. The other day her teacher said she would throw tantrums if forced to colour. She prefers doing lots of worksheets and drawing.

I don't exactly mind that she doesn't like to colour because hey... different kids have different interest. But since some of her school activities involves colouring and some of her homework too, I didn't want her to get penalised for not colouring.

One time I asked her why she doesn't like to colour. She says its boring. It takes a lot of her time, and its mundane. She prefers colouring small pictures but big ones she doesn't like.

I thought of a way to solve this, and then one day she gave me the solution herself. She asked me what mixture of colours can make another colour. Apparently in her school they had just learnt how when primary colours are mixed they get the secondary colours. So when she asked me that question, I took her homework out, and told her.. why not you mix the colours and see.

So she said she wanted to make green. I asked her where in the picture she wants to put green, and told her to colour yellow and blue on that part of the picture. She happily coloured and I could see she was fully concentrated in it. I was overjoyed. She wanted to colour. I didn't make her but she wanted to.

And when we're done with that we moved to another one and soon she finished the whole picture. I then told her that the next time she colours, why not mix the colours instead of using only one colour. And she thought that was fun enough.

There were no screaming matches. No forcing.. just a very calm and peaceful interaction between the two of us and she did the thing I wanted her to.

I guess that book I bought do have a point. Its easier to have kids to do things when they want to do it. So find how to make them want it and they would do it. But of course that takes time.. figuring out the HOW. Parents have to be fully aware of what their kids like or dislike and what motivates them. I suppose once both parents and kids get the hang of this it'll be less stressful.

Of sewing and HK

2011-05-21T23:15:00.002+08:00

I sew but I suck at it. I only sew if I have to and I don't intend for it to last long. Sometimes just out of curiosity most times... for fun.

Anyway.. that's soo out of the blue.

Just got back from Hong Kong last Tuesday and have to say it's not a place I'd want to go back to. Too fast paced and a bit rude?? But hey.. different culture have different definitions with what's rude and what's not. All I can say is its not for me. But still no regrets in going there. Our main objective was Disneyland for Azalia and to see her get so excited watching the characters and taking pics with them and screaming at them at the parade like how adults would when they're at a concert, definitely made the trip worthwhile.

We cancelled our trip to Ocean Park due to the weather and tiredness of walking up and down hills... yes.. Hong Kong is hilly. I'm sure I would have enjoyed the dolphin show, sea lion show and the panda.. but... maybe when Azalia is older. Of course there's always Sentosa Island to see all that..hehe( but no panda though..hmph.. next stop China maybe??)

We did however reacher The Peak. And OMG it really is THE PEAK. We were higher than the HK's tallest buildings and the scenes were beautiful. We went up via the funicular tram and that was fun.

We were supposed to see the light shows along the harbour but Azalia usually crashed by then.. plus it was drizzling almost everyday sooo..cancelled that.

It's so different travelling with a child now. We can make detailed plans but in the end, we would give priority to her comfort. There are kids who are very adaptable but those who are less adaptable can still enjoy things.. you just have to make a few tweaks here and there. Sure you might not get to see everything but hey... always remember what the objective of the trip is. To have fun and be happy.

Although I was a bit grumpy and cranky due to my own inability to adapt well to their culture over there... but by day 3 I got a better control out of it. Oh no.. have I become less adaptable too.. hehehehhe..like mother like daughter maybe???

Of old age.

2011-05-11T09:34:00.002+08:00

My grandfather has been in and out of the hospital for the past few months. He has his good days but they are minimal compared to his bad days. Right now, he's back in the hospital. He looks weak. I'm not used to seeing him this weak. The other day we had a scare when he suddenly collapsed and was semi concious. He was slurring a bit. I thought he had another stroke. But turned out he was so exhausted. Kidney and heart is not functioning well. It's almost time he would say with that cheeky smile on his face.

He's always joking about how his time is near. He would say my first house is this house, my second house is the hospital and my third house is where I'm going next. Always with a laugh at the end.

It's inevitable I know, but you can't help but feel sad and in denial a bit right!!.

Anyway looking at how my parents are taking care of him, attending to him at home, at the hospital, my mom sleeping there when he was extra weak. And going to work the next day. My uncles taking turns being there for him at the hospital, taking his medication at the hospital.. etc... basically its hard work. Sure you love your parents and would do anything you can for them , but at the same time, life goes on and you have to go to work, tend to your own family and other obligations to tend to.

I pray that I would be as strong as my parents when their time comes. And for that, I need to make sure I have a flexible job, (or maybe not work when the time comes..hehe), kids are all grown up and can take care of themselves(its easier.. you don't have to worry about them and focus on your parents more) and are financially ready to bear any costs that they can't handle themselves (which I think they can manage but who knows.. which also reminds me to save for when my time comes because its not cheap to have some comfort in your later years i tell you).

Plus, it helps to have lots of kids. They can take turns seeing you at the hospital, bring you for checkups, get your medications, at least the burden won't fall on only one person.. haha. If Azalia is my only child, I have told my cousins whom I took care of when they were little and still sometimes do now, that I expect them to take care of me when I'm old just like how they would take care of their mom. "Ye kakak Anis" they answered.. hehe. Must make voice record so they would keep their word.. HAHAHAHA.

I pray that whatever time my grandfather has left in this world, he would not suffer. I pray that we would be there with him when his time has come. I pray to Allah the Merciful that He would make it easy for my grandfather.

My nephew Alwi.

2011-05-10T10:23:00.003+08:00

My weekend plans would usually go out the window if my little nephew Alwi comes to visit. He's a gem that boy. Soooo cute. Going to be two this July. He talks in his own language. Some we could understand, but most of the time we don't but its so adorable because he talks like we can understand him so we pretend we do.

Azalia wants to play with him. But she's not so gentle and impatient. She would ask him to play and when he doesn't play the way she wants him to, she gets angry.

So last weekend, when she was beginning to get impatient I whisked her away and had a good talk with her

Me: You've always wanted a sister or a brother right?

Azalia: Yesss

Me: Than you have to learn to play with little kids. Allah likes it when you are good with little kids like Alwi, so if you learn to play with him well than maybe Allah will grant our doa for an adik for you. Ok?

Azalia: OK.. fine...

And lo and behold she played nicely with him. I could see that when she's frustrated she stopped herself, walk away and then went back to playing with him. I wonder how long this will last. I'm sure I have to remind her again and again but yeah.. I'm glad she listened.

That boy is so cute I tell you. Anytime anyone drops anything he would say with all seriousness, " Ya Allah". He calls Azalia, "Aiyaaa" and follows her everywhere.

They played 'house' and I could hear Azalia telling Alwi,

"Alwi..awak duduk dlm. Jangan keluar2. Faham!!. Awak adik, saya kakak Ok!

and Alwi replied

" Cak..cak... (playing peekabo at the door) etetetemepeme Aiyaaaa"

and Azalia says

"Alwi!!!!!! mari sini!!!!"

OMG she sounds exactly like me!!!!!

Must.Behave.Better.For.Daughter's.Sake.

p.s: Bought myself the book "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk" for Mother's Day. Need it for guidance and assurance that I'm on the right track. I would say so far the advices given are practical and in need of a lot of patience. And its ok to lose it once in awhile. Mothers are human too.

Dua..satu...

2011-04-24T22:12:00.002+08:00

Went back to Kuching for my cousin's wedding and of course the trip was awesome as always. Wish it could have been longer.

Anyway, Azalia had fun playing with her little aunts and cousins. Overheard her asking my 7yo twin cousins

Azalia: Kakak, (they're supposed to be her aunties) Kenapa awak ada dua?

One of the Twin cousins: Sebab Allah kasi mak saya dua.

Azalia: Ooo.. Allah kasi saya satu saja.

Big perut...

2011-04-20T09:52:00.002+08:00

2 days ago, as I prepared to read her book before bed, Azalia patted my tummy and said

Alia: Mak, perut mak big. Tapi takde baby lagi kan??

Me: Tak.. belum ada lagi.

Alia: Perut mak big sebab mak makan banyak kan.

Me: Erkkkk

Asa: (smirking)

Me: (bringing down the hubby too) Sapa punya perut lagi besar. Abah ke Mak?

Alia: ABAH!!!

Asa: (gimme the look why?? why??)

The Power of Play - Fisher Price

2011-04-18T06:08:00.007+08:00

Attended this talk by fisher price on Saturday and it was so much fun and educational.

Worth the RM30 I paid. Not only I gained a lot from Carrie Lipoli, founder of LiveandLearn but the goodie back from fisher price definitely worth more than RM100 as promised. Will share more about what I learned from the talk. Definitely would attend more talks like this. Am so sure that this is want I want to do with my life.

Held at the Empire Hotel.

The goody bag

What's inside. AWESOME!!

Inside the Nestle box.

Tips to bringing your baby/toddler out on your own.

2011-04-16T07:01:00.002+08:00

When Azalia was a baby, Asa's working schedule was very uncertain, so I knew earlier on that I need to be able to bring her out on my own so I wouldn't be too dependant on Asa. Plus, I was partly inspired by my mom's stories of how she would fly with all 3 of us back to KL (back then we lived in Sarawak) when we were small.. Just her and us, baby and toddlers. So yeah... I was determined to be independant.

So here are some things I learned along the way

1. Know your child's schedule
A hungry baby is a cranky baby. If you're breastfeeding, it's easier. No bottles to pack. If you bottle feed make sure bring milk. Best if you feed before you go. If she needs sleep go out after. A sleepy baby is also a cranky baby.

2. Car seat trained
Very important for safety. Enough said. How to succeed in training? Well that's a whole different entry but perseverance is key. Thankfully for me, Asa persevered and I get motion sickness. Who knew my motion sickness would come in handy. She still sits in her car seat till this day and if she doesn't she wears the seat belt.

3. Baby carrier/stroller.
Azalia was and still loves being in her stroller. My shoulders get tired easily so I prefer the stroller than the baby carrier. Either way, having your hands free will enable you to run errands easier.

4. Pack some baby wipes
Definitely a life saver. Even if your toddler is diaperless.

5. A change of clothes, and diaper.
Just in case. So you won't have to rush back or buy them new.

6. Pack everything..and I MEAN EVERYTHING in 1 bag. Makes your life much easier.

7. Keep him/her entertained.
Bring his/her favourite toy if you must. But not too bulky.

8. Eat before you go out. You'll get cranky if she makes a fuss. But if you want to eat outside, find somewhere that is children friendly so you wouldnt be so embarassed if your baby makes a fuss.

9. Pull up diapers is handy..especially in an airplane.

I have to say I love going out with Azalia, just the two of us. Sure it's not a bed of roses, especially now when she wants everything and I have to say No and she'll kick up a fuss but I usually ignore..oh yess... muka tebal is essential..hehehhe... but yeah.. we definitely have a good time most of the time we go out. Plus that feeling you get when you know u can do it all alone is priceless.

Busy busy...

2011-04-13T09:51:00.001+08:00

For the past week I've been busy with work the new unit assigned to me. Told a friend that I'm both 'LIKE' and 'DISLIKE' my current job description right now.

'LIKE' because I'm doing something totally new and it gave me an insight on the financial parts of a unit trust company and the issues that they face, 'DISLIKE' because I was getting way comfortable in doing things that I know for certain that I'm good at (my previous job) and became the go to person in my previous unit, and also.... complacent a bit hehehehe... to being a newbie and not being in the loop all the time. Definitely not a HUGE DISLIKE and of course I'm sure it'll get better.

Hence, I am lately busy because in addition to my new job scope, I'm in the midst of opening up another class for ALIMKids PJ and currently the class is only half full. Need.new.marketing.startegies. Anyone wants to help?

But the ALIMKids PJ has been a blast lately. Came up with lots of crafts for the kids to do which is lots of fun. Especially when I see them enjoying their masterpiece afterwards. Definitely thumbs up!!.

Oh well... gotta get back to office work.

Toodles.

p.s: Come and visit our booth at the Smart Kids Expo PWTC on 15th-17th APRIL!!!!!

Awesome #4 Getting you tax return less than 2 weeks after submission..

2011-04-05T10:25:00.001+08:00

Yeah.. I got mine 2 weeks ago. Just in time to pay our flight tickets to Hong Kong this May. I submitted in early March. So what are you waiting for.. submit yours now!!!!!

Awesome #3 - A weekend getaway at a non crowded beach

2011-04-04T10:30:00.003+08:00

Had an exhausting but fun filled weekend at Pengkalan Balak, Melaka courtesy of Hubby's Kelab Hartawan Hartanah's family day.

Nothing more awesome than seeing your kid running on the beach happily, collecting sea shells and jumping into the water afterwards. Azalia has finally conquered her fear of the sea thanks to 'the little mermaid'. YEAY!!

Nothing much to say about the accomodation, but it's a clean place to spend the night so that's fine with us but the beach is literally at our doorstep, so who needs a room to stay in when you have a clean beach all by yourself.

There was only a kiddy pool, which was also at our doorstep hence very very convenient.

Good food, lots of laughs.. definitely an AWESOME weekend.

p.s: my attempt to built a sandcastle was successful (though unfinished because Azalia decided to jump into the swimming pool living me behind at the beach.. ) but still.... yeay!!!!

My artbox

2011-04-01T11:56:00.000+08:00

Ever since I've started conducting ALIMKids playgroup , I have endless supplies in my artbox for the arts and crafts session.

Having everything that I need in a box saves time and makes it easier for me to come up with creative projects for the little khalifahs. Azalia also benefits from this as she also gets a chance to do more arts and crafts projects with me.

Here are my current must haves in my art box

1. Hot glue gun (only for me NOT the kids)
2. The staples - scissors, glue, different types of tapes(masking,double sided, cellophane, penknife)
3. Staplers
4. chopsticks
5. paper cups and plates
6. Tempera Paints
7. construction paper.
8. Toilet rolls
9. Random shapes discarde boxes.
10. Beans
11. Cotton balls
12. Ice cream sticks
13. Twine

I have yet to add glitters to my art box because I personally don't like to use them. But the kids love them so I will put them in one day.

Awesome #2 - When you find out that the emergency item you wanted to buy is on your doorstep.

2011-03-31T16:59:00.009+08:00

I've been wanting to buy a muslimah swimsuit for awhile now. But I've always kept it on hold because I thought my old swimsuit still fits me well. But I lost the pants the other day and I needed it this weekend so I guess its time to get a new one.

I googled and found fidascollection and her online shop carries the lowest price muslimah swimsuit. I texted her to see if I can pick up the item since delivery by mail wouldn't be fast enough.

She replied and told me her address and I was literally jumping for joy because I can literally walk to her house from mine!! whooppiiieee!!!

How to make ribbon streamers

2011-03-31T11:47:00.006+08:00

In the ALIMKids playgroup, one of the tools that we use for the active movement activity are ribbon streamers. Azalia loves them and the little khalifahs in my playgroup also enjoy them tremendously.Sing a song and wave the ribbons about. You can teach them fast and slow movement, high and low, left and right, and also shapes!!

Ribbon streamers are not hard to make. Here's a picture to show how to make them. The longer the length of the ribbon the more fun it is. Of course don't make it too long. I think keeping the length the same height as your kids is sufficient. Enjoy:)

Awesome #1 - A friend having PMS on the same day you are.

2011-03-30T11:32:00.004+08:00

While everything fell into place yesterday and I was all chirpy, today was exactly the opposite and it's only 11am.

First the LRT had problems and I was 20mins late for work. Fine.

Then.. I thought the boss was not in.. and then an hour later she came. Fine.

Then.. I heard there's a possibility I might have to start staying back once a week again because some people wanted things to be easier for them... FINE!!.

Then... my crops withered (smurf game)...This sounds stupid but I was upset OK!! so FINE!!

Then I read about a blogger who I've followed since Azalia was born, whose circumstances were similar to mine ( have a 4yo and difficulty getting pregnant after due to health reasons, although our health reasons are not the same) is now having a miracle.... in addition this morning Azalia asked me why there's still no baby. Plus.. I'm having a red flag day currently.

That was it for me. I felt the gloomy clouds over me and I suddenly couldn't function.

Then a friend Gtalked me and said she's PMS-ing and we just poured our hearts out about stupid things we're PMS-ing about (yes even about the smurf game and she tried not to laugh but as I typed it down we both laughed..hahaha). Misery sure loves company.

Thanks Fadh. :)

Intro to 365 of awesomes.

2011-03-30T11:00:00.000+08:00

Inspired by the author of 1000awesomething , which I came to know after reading the Reader's Digest, I would like to start a project to state 1 awesome thing that happened on each day for a year to remind myself especially when I'm feeling blue or just plain moody, to focus on the positive things that happened that day.

So here goes.

30 Seconds To Mars - Closer To The Edge

2011-03-30T00:18:00.000+08:00

I love this song. Every time I need to make some decision in my life or need some motivation I would turn on this song.

Weekends

2011-03-28T12:12:00.002+08:00

These past few weeks my weekends have been filled with activities that I don't remember the last time I put my leg up in front of the telly and just surf the channels. Sigh.

Anyway, I don't think I'm the only one who's tired these past few months, Azalia has also been effected by it. Plus, I've noticed a few things that I could do to avoid her from behaving badly.

1. No late nights on weekends. EVER!!! (I'm still trying to be consistent with this because it usually means no late nights for me too which is a bit hard as it limits the things I could/should do on weekends)

2. 3 main meals a day and a snack each in between. And less sugar and salt

3. Have structured play and free play.

4. Get some sunshine.

No.1 is the utmost important as it guarantees a happy and well behaved Azalia throughout the day. I've noticed that whenever she has a late night, she would be easily tired the nextday even if she wakes up late and she gets cranky easily. Not to mention extra stubborn. Plus.. it's also hard to implement no.2 so I suppose I have no choice but try my hardest to make sure she sleeps on time. Currently bed time on weekdays is like a clockwork but weekends is still a work in progress due to relatives visiting, dinner outing or weddings. But if I want a calm and happy weekend, I have to be consistent.

Sound easy huh..

NOT!!!

For example, last weekend, our schedule were like this

Saturday:
Morning - Parent Teacher's Day, Playgroup
Noon - Lunch
Eve - Kite flying at Metropolitan Park

Full right?? so Azalia should be sleeping at around 8pm because she didn't have any nap. But my cousin was around and stayed at the house till 11pm so no amount of persuasion could make her ready for bed time because she wanted to play with her uncle who she rarely sees.

Sure enough the next day we had a friend's kenduri to go to and she wasn't in her best behaviour. She was already tired when we wanted to go, she slept before we went and if we were to wait longer we would have been very late, so we decided to just go and upon arrival she woke up(still tired) and did whatever she pleases and ignored whatever I said. On the way back she slept again and because we haven't seen my in-laws for weeks so we had to go see them and she went to the playground.

Due tu tiredness, she cried all the way back from my inlaws because I scolded her for biting her toes in the car and that night she fought to stay awake. (by singing to herself)

So last weekend was not Azalia's good behavour week. Which is unlike the week before where it was at a slower pace and we had time to put some structure in her day.

So.. If you have friends who would have to decline to go anywhere because she needs to keep to her child's schedule, don't judge, because a schedule is really important for a child's wellbeing. A child needs structure and for that, the parents have to sacrifice certain things in their life to make sure this structure is in place. Sure if you have a maid/nanny you could make her apply this structure while you live your life as usual, but this is not a case for me because even though we had a maid while I was growing up but I was brought up by my mother and not my maid and I want the same for my child.

The maid can do the dishes, clean the house, do laundry but when it comes to playing, nurturing and disciplining her, I would prefer to do it myself. But of course I don't have a maid yet.. so anyone who comes to my house.. please know that housekeeping is somehow my last priority so there will be days when it looks like a hurricane just hit.. you see... I have a schedule to keep.

Activity Worksheets downloads.

2011-03-25T16:54:00.004+08:00

As I've mentioned in my previous post, "Lets get Creative", I did some activity worksheets for Azalia and I thought of sharing them here. These are some of the ones I remembered to save before I print them.

However, please read below before downloading them.

Download rules:
1.Not for sale or to be used commercially
2.Feel free to change it as you please
3. I did most of it under 15 mins due to time constrain so be kind with your criticism.
4. Images are mostly from the web so I do not own any of the images.
5. Azalia is 3+ so I guess the activities are suitable for 3-4 maybe.

So enjoy and have fun with them!! As I do more I will try and add to the list.

On death

2011-03-24T23:02:00.002+08:00

The other day Azalia was watching TV and the trailer for the movie RANGO came on. I think one of the character said "you're going to die" and Azalia found it funny and she kept repeating it.

I finally asked her not to say such thing. Of course she asked why. I proceeded in telling her all of us will die someday but we don't say it to people because we don't want to wish anyone to die. Death will happen but its a sad occasion.

Azalia: Nanti mak die ke?
Me: One day semua org pun die so yes one day I will
Azalia: Alia tak nak mak mati. Nanti tak dapat jumpa mak. Mak pergi mana
Me: Bila mati we all go to Allah. So if mak mati, I will be with Allah.
Asa: Awak kene doa untuk mak. Baca al-fatihah banyak2.
Azalia: Kalau baca doa mak hidup balik??
Me: (Laughing) tak lah. Dah mati mana hidup balik. But doa so that you remember me and your doa will come to me when I'm with Allah.
Azalia: (no longer sad) lepas tu bila Azalia nak jumpa mak balik.
Me: When your time comes to be with Allah, Alia jumpa lah mak balik.
Asa: (menyampuk), dekat syurga.
Me: That's why we pray, we do good things because we want Allah to love us when it's time to be with him.
Azalia: (confused look) Ok..(gaya let me get this straight). Alia tak nak mak die. Kalau mak die, mak dengan Allah. Kalau mak die Alia baca doa. Pastu nanti Alia boleh jumpa mak lagi kan?
Me: bolehlah tu.

So how do you explain life and death to a child.

Mattel Toys Warehouse Clearance Sale

2011-03-24T16:29:00.006+08:00

Pic source: http://everyday.com.my

I've been to it twice in previous years and my tips are

1.GO EARLY!!!
Seriously if the sale were as good as previous years (50-60% off) you should go early. And when I say early I mean before the doors are open. I have seen pregnant ladies ran inside Atria to get to level 2 where the sale is held ok.

2. BYOB - Bring your own bag. I mean big plastic bag (those ikea ones are ideal). Because the toys are bulky and its easier to just dump them into the bags before you get to the checkout. If not.. not enough hands how to bring everything to the counter. And if you just leave them at one corner confirm org amik punya!!!

3. Make sure you are not in a rush. Make time for the queue.
Last time I went I had to queue for a freaking 1 hour because the lady in front of me was holding up the line for 5 FREAKING FRIENDS!!! WTH!!!.. I mean queuing up for one friend is fine. Even two is understandable BUT 5!!! Yeah.. be as kiasu as can be because they would be kiasu to you.

wordless means.. no words.

2011-03-24T09:15:00.003+08:00

There's this thing going on in the blogging world called Wordless Wednesdays. Basically on Wednesdays you post pictures instead of writeups. The title is wordless wednesdays right... W.O.R.D.L.E.S.S. Means.. No words. Then no need for captions for the photos right?? I know people are doing it just for fun but if there are captions and not just pictures than maybe they should rename the whole thing.

p.s: Saje je nak cari pasal.. hehehe.

LAT the musical : my review

2011-03-17T10:34:00.007+08:00

I grew up with Lat. My parents love Lat and we have all his comics. I've always wished I could have a kampung just like his in Kampung Boy.I learnt to read the newspaper because Lat's cartoons was in it. That's why I was looking forward to see the musical.

Personally, for me, a good musical would have great songs that lingers in my mind even when the show's over, great vocals that gives me chills and well written storyline and awesome setting.

The show is good. I would recommend everyone to go. But do lower your expectations when it comes to the song selection and the vocals. Some of the character had good vocals. The kids were awesome. But somehow I was let down by Awie's vocals. Atilia's was excellent of course but the songs let me down. But I did like the song sang by Mrs Yu and her class. DWYL LWYD. what is it? you have to go to find out.

But I have to say the first half of the show was well written. I enjoyed every minute of the first half. However I find the second half a bit draggy. And I'm not sure if they had a climax.Or if they had... I didn't get it.

The setting however was excellent. I love the way they used the screens to portay Lat the comic. Most of the landscape and buildings were supersized from Lat's comic hence those who've read the comic would feel very familiar with the whole setting. That was awesome.

Douglas Lim was entertaining as always. Would go to any musical comedy that has him in it. The actors who played Pak Samad and Mrs Hew (is this correct??) couldn't have been better. They're hilarious. I like. And the kids... bravo.. bravo.

Although I did say I was dissappointed with Awie's vocals (compared to when I saw him in Cuci the musical) but his acting was entertaining. So bravo for that. Atilia's acting was alright I suppose which but whenever she sings her voice sends chills down my spine.

Overall I would say it's a must see. Especially if you love Lat cartoons. And I love them.

Plus...whenever I read Lat I learn a thing or two about life. And the musical did the same for me too.

DWYL and LWYD. Thanks Mrs Hew. and Thank you Lat.

Lets get creative

2011-03-16T12:41:00.007+08:00

Azalia loves doing activity books. She loves everything about it. The maze, the matching game, the sequence game, counting game. Everything I tell you. She also loves buying them. Everyday she would want a new one and would try to finish everything the day itself. I've resorted to telling her she can only get a new book after 10 days. The 1st day will start on the day she starts asking for a book and we'll mark the calendar and cross out each time a day passes.

Meanwhile, to keep her occupied I've decided to make my own activity prints based on disney cartoon themes. Besides printing them, I also recycle her old activity books by cutting and pasting the character and making games out of them. On average she will do about 10 activites per night.

The good thing about this is clearly she loves learning. So right now I'm struggling to think what is not too easy for her and not too hard. I want to incorporate life lessons and also some maths, science and spelling in the picture. Who says being a mother is easy. I find myself constantly challenged and having to put my creative hat on. And that hat is not easy to fill.

Fortunately there are lots of WAHM and SAHM who blogs about their home schooling adventures. Currently I'm taking some of their ideas and incorporate them in our themes and the activities that we want to do.

Sure its easier to just buy that book she wants but whats stopping me from doing that is I want her to learn the value of money. I want her to learn the importance of delayed gratification because I think that will teach her to learn patience and be determined. I want her to know that loving her doesn't mean I'll buy everything for her.

Where do I find the time to do this? Lunch time at work, break time and when I get to work early. It's fun seeing her enjoying the things I've prepared for her. And at the same time its amazing what she picks up. Check the sites I've linked below for some ideas of your own. They also have links to awesome resources. Doing DIY not only is cost effective but it lets you be creative too.

The Peterson Party

Counting coconuts

Confessions of a homeschooler

jannahsteps

zaythoun

Nagging feeling

2011-03-15T18:06:00.002+08:00

Somehow I'm not feeling so upbeat suddenly. Maybe its that work I'm supposed to do but still haven't finish doing because I'm just too lazy to ?? Hehe. Whatever it is there's always tomorrow and it's 6pm already. Let's just hope that work is not due tomorrow first thing in the morning ok??

Ooops..

2011-03-15T17:01:00.001+08:00

My parents went to our next door neighbour's daughter's wedding dinner last weekend. They sat at the same table with our neighbour from across the road. Mom told me about their conversation that night:

Neighbour: You dah ada cucu kan?

Mom: Yes. Ada dua dah. One living with us.

Neighbour: Oh ya, girl kan? Sometimes I can hear her mother calling her Alia kan. My cucu also Alia.

Mom: *embarrased* Yes, she(me) can be quite loud sometimes.

Ooops. Sorry mak. hehehehe.

Who's your window??

2011-03-15T14:24:00.003+08:00

Read this and immediately my mind drifted to my windows.

To my triple As, I am forever thankful for having all of you in my life. What a coincidence that all of your names start with A's too.

Each of you were there for me in different phase of my life. I'm glad our paths crossed. :)

I wanna marry you

2011-03-09T16:54:00.001+08:00

Azalia: Mummy?? can I marry you?
Me: No Azalia..you have to marry a boy
Azalia: Than I want to marry daddy
Me: No larrr!!! that one cannot
Azalia: Than I marry Tan Jeng Wen k? (classmate and current bestfriend. Because he sits next to her,apparently). Can?
Me: Errr... when you're older ok

Talk talk talk

2011-03-02T11:14:00.003+08:00

I recently attended a training for my ALIMKids program and one of the speakers was a child development and linguist specialist. Something like that. She mainly works with kids with special needs and masyaAllah.. she is amazing. And the things that we gained from her about child development were of tremendous value. I definitely recommend people to attend Dr Norizan's training (if there were any, I think Ummikusayang will organise one, one day) and you'd gain so much in understanding the development of your child and how you can enhance it further.

Anyway. I've always talked to Azalia. Ever since she was a baby I would talk to her. I would put her on my lap and just talk to her. Being very talkative myself, it was just natural for me to talk about everything that I do. I would describe things, explain to her why I do something etc. Even when we go out, I would just talk to her (because she would be in her stroller) about what's in front of us, what I would do next, where I would go etc. There are times when I get weird looks from strangers for what seem to be talking to myself but.. i just didn't care.

What I learned from Dr. Norizan, was that all this talking that I'm doing, was actually very good for her. I didn't realise it at the time. It was just something that I do with her. Apparently by explaining and describing everything, it enhances her vocabulary and made it easier for her to talk. No wonder she doesn't baby talk that much. When she first started talking, she was trying out real words. Pelat of course (kalau tak pelat terkejut mak hokay!!) but it was words that we could understand and not baby talk. Sure my father did baby talk with her. He has his own language with children. He did it with us too. But in Azalia's case it wasn't only me who talked to Azalia, but her nanny was also very talkative too, both of us would describe what we're doing when we give her a bath, feed her, etc.

Exposing her with English has also helped her in picking up the language really fast. By exposing I mean playhouse disney channel. hehehe. ok I'm not saying you should let your child watch a lot of tv. If you disapprove of tv(there are cons to it) than expose the language to her via other means, like you speaking it, or reading to her. We also read to her and sometimes we would talk to her in english. But since it's not our first language our main conversation is in Malay. But now that she has started school, and most of her teachers are non-malays, she naturally speaks in english, her grammars are quite good (a bit off here and there but I blame myself for that because I talk manglish with her..hehe). I guess by exposing the language to her at an early age it wasn't a problem for her to speak and understand the language.

Right now I'm thinking of exposing her to Mandarin. I wanted to enroll her in Mandarin class in school, but she's still adjusting so I might delay her enrolment. But I've always wanted to learn mandarin(I went to chinese speaking tadika but it stopped there), so I want her to try it out too. Maybe we could do it together!!!.. that would be fun.

Anyway... talking to your child definitely helps. No wonder those who are a bit on the quiet side, their children are also quiet and might take longer to talk (although this is NOT a big problem if it's still within their development time frame, kids develop differently so you can't really compare between the two).But no wonder mine talks non-stop. It's a bit tiring answering all her questions but she continues to amaze me.

Princess Cinderella Ultraman Azalia Cosmos.

2011-02-17T12:23:00.004+08:00

And that's the long version.

Azalia has resorted to calling herself either

1. Cinderella Ultraman Azalia
2. Princess Ultraman Azalia
3. Ultraman Cinderella Azalia Cosmos

and many more similar word arrangement.

And she has resorted to calling both me and Asa, her parents

Me: Cinderella Mummy/ Cinderella Mak
Asa: Cinderella Abah / Cinderella Daddy.

This is due to her current interest ie, Cinderella. She would switch it on the computer, the ipod touch.. wherever and whenever. She can even sing the songs and memorise some of the scripts.

She said she wants mice, cat, dog and horse because she's Cinderella and Cinderella has to have all these.

She even asked me when she'll meet her prince. She's chosen Unc Eizaz to be her prince because "he's my bestfriend and Alia saaaayang Eizaz".

OMG.

p.s: Azalia has a habit of telling people everything that we do. The other day she told her teacher at her playgroup that mummy bought her princess t-shirt at pasar malam and we pray to Allah to get baby. OMG. BOCOR RAHSIA KELUARGA!!!!

2011-02-11T12:24:00.003+08:00

Nak travel Europe lagi.. please? hehehehe

It's the cold season.

2011-02-02T16:39:00.001+08:00

Azalia is a better patient than I am. Both of us are currently down with cough and cold and while mummy is moody and cranky, Azalia is just being herself jumping up and down, running here and there. Well to be fair, she didn't lose her voice and doesn't have a sore throat.

Asa has been lovely taking care the two of us and I especially am grateful for him taking over most things when it comes to Azalia. Honestly I just couldn't be bothered because I couldn't stop coughing and sneezing and that causes my nose and chest to hurt and muscles cramping. I pray to God this will be over soon because I need to get things done. My coughs are worse at night and it is disturbing my sleep.. ARGHHH.

Azalia would sometimes forget that I'm not well and proceed to testing my patience. But as soon as she realises (with help from mummy grunting and ignoring her) she would proceed to bebel mummy to eat ubat ("all 10 mummy I want to see all finish ok", she would say) and tiptoe around me. Of course once she saw me up doing something she assumes I'm all fine and proceed to her usual antics.

I was hoping it would be a lovely long weekend this CNY weekend but boohoo..I just see myself recuperating at home. I'm suppose to be a dulang girl for my bestfriend's wedding but I wonder if I can stop myself from coughing while carrying the dulang. Or worse.. cough on the dulang. Errr better not be carrying food item.

I'm forcing myself to be up and about for work today and also for bestfriend's wedding prep tomorrow. Pray for my health will you?? Thanks.

I soooo need a getaway.

p.s: Read about the ALIMKids PJ preview here.

Funny story..

2011-01-22T20:58:00.003+08:00

After months of nagging from my mother and aunt (who I think is nagging me abt this because she is already pregnant with her 5th child while I'm still at one...so..) I finally made an appointment to see a fertility specialist.

It was just across the street that I worked, so I thought.. why not. Since it's a fertility consultation the company's not paying for it. I asked a friend who's been to one and she said the cost for her 1st visit was around RM200 so.. I brought RM200. I thought if its more than that I could just charge it. Turns out.. it was RM420. Sure the consultation and scan was RM200. But he diagnosed me after the scan and a blood test was needed to confirm hence the extra RM200. I was horrified that they didn't accept card, only cash or cheque. So.. I told them to hold the RM200 while I went to the ATM to withdraw some more cash.. MALU!!!..hehehehe. tu lah dah biasa sangat pergi clinic FOC terus tatau nak budget nak bawak berapa.

Next trip confirm bwk cheque book.

To give or not to give

2011-01-18T12:17:00.001+08:00

Yesterday, Azalia asked me for more books. I decided to take this opportunity to teach her about the less fortunates.. So I replied to her that there are kids who don't have books.

Azalia: Kenapa mak dia tak belikan

Me: Sebab mak dia tak de duit untuk belikan. Alia kesian tak?

Azalia: nanti dier nak book Alia

Me: Takpelah.. Alia kan banyak book, kasi dier book Alia yang Alia tak selalu baca.

Azalia: Tak nak.. Alia suka semua book Alia. (pause). Mak, belikan budak tu buku barulah

Me: Ahh?? Ok.. kalau kita beli buku baru untuk budak tu Alia tak ada buku baru tau.

Azalia: Ok. (pause)(thinking) Mak budak tu nak satu buku ke banyak buku.

Me: Ntah lah

Azalia: Belikan dia banyak buku mcm Alia ok.

Me: Errr....

Azalia: Mak dia ada toy tak. Jangan bagi toy Alia. Beli dia toy baru. OK mak

Me: Erhhh..

Azalia: Mak.. mana abah dia mak

Me: Ada kot.. Tapi abah dia pun tak cukup duit

Azalia: Mak .. nama dia sapa mak

Me: Mak tak tau lagi

Azalia: Mak.. bila kita nak pegi jumpa budak tu mak..

Erk.... nak berkenalan lah pula.

Asa saved me from further interrogation by saying he'll bring her to see the kids one day.

Hmmm... Looks like I didn't succeed in asking her to impart some of her things to the less fortunate, but I guess its a good thing she wants to give them stuff?? But my objective was for her to give.. not her telling me to give... Erk..

Surprise

2011-01-16T11:34:00.002+08:00

Sometime ago.. I asked Asa what he wanted for his birthday. He said he wanted a surprise. I told him his surprise would be whether he gets a gift from me or not. hehehe.

The 1 week mark

2011-01-14T09:53:00.002+08:00

1. Morning cries - still there but improving.

2. Stops crying when classes start

3. Has started playing with other kids while waiting for me to pick her up.

4. Wore her school uniform - but with her t-shirt on top.

5. Know some of her schoolmate's name. Made a friend.

6. Shared her friend's food. Didn't share hers because she said they didn't want hers. Fair enough.

Since Azalia is a picky eater, I prepared her a snack box for her snack time instead of depending on the school's prepared snack. I would usually put 2 boiled sausages, 1 piece of bread with spread, and a few oreos or biscuits she likes. I will have to include some grapes later so that she'll have some fruits during snack time. Currently she almost always finish all her snacks so that's good news.

The other day she said she learned chinese (mandarin), played with the computer and she loves story time. Today she's going to have swimming class. I look forward to hearing what she has to say about it. All in all, my stress level is still there(due to the morning cries) but is decreasing, I could see she enjoys school, but is still cranky and clingy in the morning. Today will be my last day of picking her up, so I'm a bit anxious to see how she is when my aunt picks her up. Overall there's good progress.

Azalia's 4th day kindy

2011-01-10T23:55:00.002+08:00

Bangun2 dah nanges.

Seriously.. this can't happen every morning. She kept saying "please mak.. tak nak pergi school mak, please mummy.. ok mummy?" etc etc.

Of course she has to go, so bathe her, this time she doesn't want to wear her uniform..ok fine.. and off we went to school. Left her with her screaming at me not to go. Huhuh it was heartbreaking but it's a stage she has to go through. She likes going to school, but she wants me to be with her all the way. How laa??

Anyway.. I've decided to pick her up this whole week instead of asking my aunt to do it. So today, when I picked her up she looked tired. But she wasn't crying. She was talking to a kid and her teacher. She was all smiles when she saw me and said

"Mak tadikan Alia nangis. Tapi sikit je"

Erkk.. that's what you called sikit.

Than she said she shared food with her friend. She also finished her bekal and told me they sang ABCs count 123s etc etc. She was all clingy in the car. She won't let go of my hand, kept on kissing it and caressing it on her cheek. She kept on saying "Sayang mak, Alia suka mak amik". Aiseh budak ni. Nak amik hati lah tu.

Anyway I asked her about school and whether she played at the playground, she said.. "teacher said it's hot today" .She seems ok everytime I pick her up. But she's still not getting used to the idea of me just leaving her in school. Hence the crying I suppose.

Sigh.. looks like it'll take awhile.

I am on a emotional roller coaster with this one.

Azalia's 3rd day at kindy

2011-01-07T21:40:00.002+08:00

She woke up today and started crying saying she doesn't want to go to school.

O...M....G... God please give me strength.

I stayed mum, went to the kitchen to prepare her snack/breakfast for school and let her cry her eyes out. When she saw me ignoring her, she went down to the kitchen and followed me around. Than I told her to go take her bath she starts bawling again.

So I just changed her into her uniform and once both of us got ready, we went of, with her still crying in the car.

This time I sent her to class. She struggled and screamed and kept repeating school is not fun and she doesn't want to. "Please mummy, Alia nak duduk rumah nek wan. Please mummy I don't want to go. Alia takot Alia takot. Alia tak nak, Alia tak nak."

Ok.. seriously.. that broke my heart but I can't cry in front of the teachers right.

So I tore her away from me, kissed her on the cheek and firmly said I'll be outside till its time to go back. And that's what I did. I didn't dare peep through the window for fear that she won't stop crying. But I did went to the back of the class and tried to eavesdrop through the window. After about 10-15 mins, she stopped crying and I could here her talking about her books, cds and ultraman with the teacher. One mother who was peeping to see her son, told me that during snack time Azalia is walking around with her bread in her hands. That gave me some relief.

Than, before classes ended, there's a mini assembly and the teachers told us to go back so that the kids won't see us. I peeped and saw Azalia crying as she went out of the class in a line. I think she must have cried when she saw I'm not outside. Than she saw me and her crying got worse and she struggled to get away from the teacher to get to me. I told her to go to the assembly and she pouted, crossed her arms. And I just ignored her and went along with the teachers as they sang and danced. Yeah the assembly is a singing and dancing session with the all the students.

When school finally ended, suddenly Azalia stopped crying and was all smiles. Sigh. At least this time I know she gets along with the teachers. Siap cerita pasal ultraman. OKlah tu kot.

Azalia's 2nd day

2011-01-06T11:08:00.002+08:00

So I came to pick her up today and saw her sleeping on one of the teacher's lap, with fingers in her mouth and blankie in the other hand.

The teacher said she didn't want to go inside the classroom today and wanted to stay outside. When the teacher asked how to stop her from crying, Azalia answered "bukaklah beg tu, dalam tu ada blankie". Apparently she stopped crying when she got her blankie but she still refused to go into the class. Than she took of her socks. Itchy she said. Than she told the teacher she's tired. Around 9.30am she slept. The teacher had to hold her for a whole hour as she slept on her lap. OMG.

I woke her up and she smiled. Glad I'm back I suppose. She said tomorrow she wants me to go to school with her. Sigh.. I guess its not over yet.

Azalia's first day at kindy

2011-01-06T08:33:00.002+08:00

So yesterday was her first day.

Days before, I tried to prepare her for school by telling her what to expect, like what she's going to do at school, I'm not going to be there with her..etc etc.

Asa thinks I shouldn't have. It would scare her he says. He thinks it would be better to give her the shock treatment. I disagreed. My first day experience was horrific. I cried and screamed and climbed up my father's back and pulled his hair when he and my mom tried to make me come down. Yes.. I was overly dramatic. I can't remember when I calmed down.. but by the second day I was ecstatic to go to school. I didn't have trouble making friends the first day after I stopped sobbing. And my parents.. they just left me after they got me off my father's back that first day. My brother cried too. But not as bad. My sister.. she's the calmest. She was as cool as a cucumber on her first day. She even felt weird that my mom was peeking through the window to see her.

I don't want Azalia to be as bad as me on her 1st day. Hence the prep. But she still cried. Not as bad as me. The teacher told us we can stay that day to ease her into it.I was not the only parent there so that comforted me. But the others didn't cry when their parents were there. Azalia did for awhile. Because she knows her mummy. She knows I will slip out the minute she gets her eyes on me.. alamak.. distrust with her own mother.. (am I a bad mother??). Or maybe she just very suspicious.. like me.. hehe.

But we eventually stayed in the class throughout the first day. I did slip out and stayed outside once.. when she was singing and occupied. Than I heard her cry. So I went in and told her I'm still there. She stopped but I can see that she's mad at me for leaving her.. aiyoyo. She enjoyed school while we were there. She had fun she said. She even volunteered to sing in front of the class. And she said she wants to come again. But when I told her last night that today I won't be with her at school, she didn't want to go anymore. "School's not fun" she kept on repeating in a sing song way.

She cried in the car when she saw the school. But she didn't struggle to get away when the teacher led her to class. One of the teachers told me its better if I just leave. She'll be ok they said.

So I left. And here I am.. writing this down.

Truth be told... this experience is nerve wrecking to me too. It's making me questioning my parenting skills. Why is my child crying to go to school??!!! But I'm consoling myself saying its normal. That some kids.. however you prep her will still cry when she goes to school. She'll be ok. I was ok and I was 10x worse. Going to school is a natural process and I shouldn't feel bad about it. Apelah mak dia sorang ni. Sigh.

A big leap : PLAYGROUP IN PJ !!

2011-01-04T15:50:00.003+08:00

I've decided to take the leap and open ALIMKids playgroup. My daughter and I have been attending the playgroup for a year and after seeing how it has benefited her, and me too, I've decided to open one myself in PJ. Please help me spread the word. Details of the playgroup are as below:

Suitable for : kids age 2-4 years old (1+yo pun boleh)
Location: Momslittleones, PJ. Section 16, No.4 Lorong Universiti 4, Petaling Jaya (Behind MSC Motorcylces, same row as Pusat Asasi UIA)
Classes: Every Saturday, 11.30am - 12.30 pm
Max per playgroup : 10 kids.

Payment details:
Registration (one time only) - RM100 (you'll get a t-shirt and this is for materials to be used for the whole 8 modules)
Per module - RM200 (There's 8 classes per module so that's about RM100 per month!!)
Trial class - RM25. (one time per child only)

We are going to have a Preview Day / Open Day on Saturday, 29.01.2011 (11.30am-12.30pm). On the day I will explain what is available for the kids on the playgroup and we'll have some sample activities of what we will do during the playgroup.

First class will be on 12 February 2010.

Even if your kids are not yet 2, do come to the preview to see what the program is all about. To register you can register with me by phone, email or on the preview day itself.Details are here. Trial classes will only be available once the classes have started (ie, 13 February onwards)

Spread the word!!

For further details you can check out
http://alimkidspj.blogspot.com
http://alimkidsplaygroup.blogspot.com

Get yourself a panini maker.

2010-12-24T09:51:00.002+08:00

The previous weekend we had a blast at A famosa, Melaka. During Matta Fair Sep10, I rented a 4 bedroom banglo, fits 12ppl, with a private pool for a FREAKING RM310 for 3days 2 nights. DAMN CHEAP RIGHT!!!!!!!

So I gathered my parents, grandparents and my aunt's family with her 4 boys(it wouldn't be a blast without them) to join us. I also bought 10 tics at RM50 for 3 parks and that was also cheap considering the original price is double that.

Anyway.. going back to the topic of the post, the banglo didn't allow us to cook. So there was no stove or bbq pit. Bummer.

But I did bend the rules and brought my panini maker so that at least we could make some breakfast or supper. With that many boys they eat like nobody's business and we had to bring some food because their eating time is like all over the place.

Seriously, go get yourself one. You think its only for making paninis.. but its not. I used it to cook my sausages, eggs and sandwiches. Sure you can get an induction cooker, but than you have to bring your pots and pans with you right. But with the panini maker all you need is 1 thing to make your english breakfast.. your panini maker.

I bought mine in Perth at Target. I tried looking for one in Malaysia but never had any luck. I haven't checked Harvey Norman's though. But seriously..I sooo recommend it. Mine only cost me around AUD 45. That's roughly less than RM150.

Month of weddings

2010-12-24T09:48:00.002+08:00

Since december is a month of weddings (yelah..cuti sekolah kan) Here's a poem dedicated to all the newly wed couples. Personally it describes my exact reason why I chose to marry Asa. Especially the 2nd para. hehehe

Why Marriage? Mari Nichols-Haining

Because to the depths of me, I long to love one person,
With all my heart, my soul, my mind, my body...

Because I need a forever friend to trust with the intimacies of me,
Who won't hold them against me,
Who loves me when I'm unlikable,
Who sees the small child in me, and
Who looks for the divine potential of me...

Because I need to cuddle in the warmth of the night
With someone who thanks God for me,
With someone I feel blessed to hold...

Because marriage means opportunity
To grow in love in friendship...

Because marriage is a discipline
To be added to a list of achievements...

Because marriages do not fail, people fail
When they enter into marriage
Expecting another to make them whole...

Because, knowing this,
I promise myself to take full responsibility
For my spiritual, mental and physical wholeness
I create me, I take half of the responsibility for my marriage
Together we create our marriage...

Random..

2010-12-23T16:21:00.002+08:00

I don't mind going out of my way for someone who would do the same for me, but I do mind for someone who won't.

I'm just saying.

Alimkids playgroup

2010-12-22T00:59:00.001+08:00

Since April 2010, I've been sending Azalia to a weekly class with Alimkids playgroup. I stumbled across the playgroup when I was googling for weekend play sessions because I thought its time Azalia learn socialise. Then I found ummikusayang website and it lead me to its branch in TTDI. It was a home based playgroup ( but will soon move to Kota Damansara) and the session lasts an hour.

At first Azalia was a bit hesitant which is understandable because it's her first 'schooling' experience.. but I could see she's starting to take interest as she participated in the arts and crafts session and enjoyed it and started interacting with teacher Fatin. So I immediately enrolled her and till this day she looks forward to going to teacher Fatin's class every Saturday.

What I like about the program is it teaches them the basics like alphabets, numbers, colours and animals.. but these are taught using the khalifah concept where they incorporate Islam in the basics. Azalia easily grasp the concept of Islam through the songs she learned and I never imagined that at 3 my daughter would already know her 5 pillars of Islam and started asking questions to understand them further.

And it is not only Azalia who learn things in the playgroup. I also learned a few stuff by observing the teacher's interactions with her. I was able to learn ways of teaching my own daughter. I was also made aware of a lot of suitable learning products to make learning fun for her which is a bonus in my opinion.

The new modules are going at RM200 and each module has 8 classes.Seriously I think this is cheaper than other playgroups that I've surveyed. Most are going for more than RM180 per month and that's 4-5 classes only(I'm comparing with PJ area here so kalau ada murah dkt area lain tatau ye). They have several branches around KL in Selangor. The program is suitable for kids from 2-4 year old and I highly recommend them. Since it's a playgroup.. mothers sit with their kids in these sessions. You can visit their website for further info.

ASB dividend 2010

2010-12-21T12:37:00.003+08:00

It was announced today that the dividend for ASB will be 7.50sen and bonus 1.25sen. I guess a lot of people are celebrating today.. yes?? no??

Bruno Mars - Count on me

2010-12-17T11:49:00.001+08:00

Work = blankie.. Gasp!!!

2010-12-14T00:01:00.000+08:00

The blankie is very important to Azalia. She loves it and it literally is her security blanket.Anyway..I think she sees work as being my blankie. Reasons for my conclusion..

1. The last post on her blankie.

2. We were doing one of her activity books and we were required to draw our favourite things. She of course wants me to draw for her, her blankie. Once I finished she suddenly said... "mak draw lah work mak dekat sebelah blankie tu"

That hit me.

I guess it makes sense she thinks that way. After all I HAVE to leave her on the weekdays to go to work. AND whenever I study or at the computer I would say I'm doing work (even when I'm surfing... hmmmm maybe I shldn't really say I'm working..my bad). And most of the time.. when the babysitter takes time off.. Asa would take care of her and I would go to work because he has more annual leaves than I do and the arrangement makes practical sense.

I wonder if this is a bad thing. I hope she doesn't think work takes precedence than her. Although it might look that way but if she needs me to be with her..I would drop everything in a second. Note.. I'm saying need and not want. She wants me all the time.. heck.. she wants everything.. like all the books in MPH. ok I'm going off topic here.

nyway... I know she loves me more than her blankie.. she said so herself.. so I think she knows I love her more than work. It's not that I love work.. I like working but it really is more of a need and have to work than want to work right now.

Anyway... I'm just saying, work is important because basically it is Amanah... but you are my biggest Amanah so you take precedence everytime Azalia.

p.s: Just in case you're wondering when your bigger and thinking I love work more than you do.. :)

When out of sight........

2010-12-13T17:20:00.000+08:00

Azalia came into the room while I was surfing and told me she wanted to play with scissors. So I went to my craft box and took out a pair and searched for some papers for her to cut them. Then we went into the living room and she sat down on the floor and I put the scissors and papers in front of her.

I sat on the sofa and waited for her to start cutting. She looked at me and said

"Mak masuklah bilik"

I was surprised. She always wants me to do things with her I asked her why and she repeated the same thing.. but with a mischievous grin on her face. I knew something was up.. and told her I'm not going anywhere..and knows she's up to something.

She grinned and stared at me for a few seconds before taking out my green thick double sided tape from under her bum

"Alia ada ni.. heheheh"

Apparently she swiped it from my table and wanted to cut them but knew I won't allow her too so that's why she told me to go to my room.

Bertuah bertuah.

BTW.. this is not the first time she does this. Take note.. if your toddler gladly wants you out of their sight... they are almost always up to something no good. I learned my lesson the hard way. She poured baby powder all over her toys and books when I thought she was watching tv quietly.

Buy buy buy... kids nowadays...

2010-12-12T00:29:00.003+08:00

Today in MPH Azalia wanted to buy 3 books ( she already bought 2 last week and 1 the week before, so seriously this buying book thing can't happen every week) so I told her no, she can buy this in a few weeks time because she has too many of them and have not finish doing/reading them.

After all her pujuk rayu tak dilayan ...guess what she said.

" Mak, Alia ada idea. Kita kasi orang buku Alia yang lama lepas tu kita beli buku baru. Haaaa.. macam tu boleh lah. Ok Mak!!!"

I like that she's thinking of giving away her stuff but the thought of her buying and not using and giving them to others just so she can buy another one is NOT something I want her to learn so I had to firmly say no.

She wailed and cried in MPH OU that all heads turned and apparently Asa who is in the floor downstairs can hear her cry too. Oh well... life's tough. You can't really get everything that you want Azalia. Most of the time you have to earn it. Jadi maknye pun tebalkan muka and walked out the store with a whateverlah-labu face.

Of course.. that cry was half made up and half real so it only a distraction for her stop crying. By the time we got to the car she's all better and came up with another idea

"Balik ni.. kita buat semua buku lepas tu kasi orang lepas tu datang kedai beli lagi ok mak"

Haih.. bijak bijak... kopak kopak...I think its time to introduce her to the library.

Of fish and fridge.

2010-12-09T22:23:00.003+08:00

Azalia wants a pet. She wants a fish. A pink fish to be exact. I told her to ask Abah. So when Asa got back from work.. she asked

Azalia: Abah, Alia nak fish

Abah: (who couldn't hear clearly because he was hungry) Kan dah ada.

Azalia: Tak ada lah.

Abah: Kan atuk baru beli. Mari sini Abah tunjuk (he brought her to the new fridge my parents recently bought). Ni ha.. baru lagi.

Azalia: Itu fridge lah bah. Alia nak fish..

Asa..still blur

my sister who overheard: Fish lah.. ikan.

Asa: Oh... (slaps his head) Kalau abah tak kasi beli mcm mana

Azalia: Alia beli sendiri lah. (said as matter of factly)

Asa: (dumbfounded... I... want.... food.. can..not...think..any...more.)

1 big happy family.

2010-12-02T14:30:00.003+08:00

Right now I have 5 kids in the house. 4 boys and 1 girl. I have to be their mother, entertainer and housekeeper.

They bring me joy and anger at the same time. I can laugh my head off with them in one minute and scream bloody murder the next. They seem to take advantage whenever I'm not on guard. How do mothers play and discipline their child(ren) at the same time I always wonder. No wonder my mom said.. she has to be the disciplinarian and my dad is the fun parent because... it really is hard to do both.

Kids are clever you see. They know you desperately want to be both. Especially the fun parent part. So sometimes.. they take advantage of it so that they can get what they want. People say kids are born pure and innocent.. well I say they are born a genius.

But I take comfort in knowing that even though my mom was the disciplinarian.. We still adore her now more than ever. So yeah... I want my daughter to be the best person she can be so I am willing to be the 'bad' parent now... and because she is a genius.. she will understand why I have to do the things I do now and love me for it in the future.

And for my 4 boys... After the 8th I can be their fun kakak Anis again because they'll have their own disciplinarian back. A big phew in my part... I have to say.

The birds and the bees

2010-12-01T23:53:00.004+08:00

Azalia found a bunch of my photos during my student days in Disneyland Paris and she was like

Alia: Mak.... mana Alia.. kenapa mak tak bawak Alia pegi sini? Kenapa mak ada gambar dengan Pluto?? mana Alia mak? Ni bila?

Me: Ni dekat Disneyland lah masa mak student lah. Alia tak ada lagi.

Alia: Alia pegi mana mak?

Me: (oh no.. its too early to have this conversation!!!) Mak tak kawen dgn abah lagi macam mana Alia nak ada..

Alia: (confused face)Mana Alia mak? Alia pegi mana mak? Alia nak pegilah mak. Alia nak pegi Disneyland.

She shoved photos after photos in my face and demanded to know what is in the photo and repeatedly saying.. Alia nak pegi jugak and why I didn't bring her along.

I told her I'll bring her to Disneyland when she's older. Thank God she's satisfied with that answer and stopped with all the questions. I don't think she would understand it if I talk about the birds and the bees right now.

Hypothetically speaking.....

2010-11-22T15:25:00.002+08:00

Me: Azalia, kalau blankie Alia hilang macam mana?

Azalia: uwaaa(starts mock crying)

Me: Azalia.. mak cakap kalau je lah.. kalau blankie hilang mcm mana?

Azalia:(stops mock crying and looks at me intently and says) Kalau kerja mak hilang macam mana.

Me:Haha.. Ok got it.

Taking a break

2010-11-18T09:14:00.002+08:00

I've been watching Criminal Minds episodes from season 5 and 6 everyday for the past few days and I think it's time to take a break from the show. The show is excellent but I think the heinous crimes has affected me to the extent that whenever I do something as simple as walking in a dark room or close my eyes I imagine those moments before the victimes were attack or during the attack. So.. yes... although I love you CM.. but for my own sanity I will have to take a break from you... just for awhile.

The eulogy of Haley Brooks.. Hotch's wife.

2010-11-12T11:06:00.004+08:00

Hotchner: (at Haley’s funeral) W.S. Gilbert wrote, it’s love that makes the world go ’round. And if that’s true, then the world spun a little faster with Haley in it. Haley was my best friend since we were in high school. We certainly had our struggles, but if there’s one thing we agreed on unconditionally, it was our love and commitment to our son, Jack. Haley’s love for Jack was joyous and fierce. That fierceness is why she isn’t here today. A mother’s love is an unrivaled force of nature and we can all learn much from the way Haley lived her life.

Haley’s death causes each of us to stop and take stock of our lives to measure who we are, and what we’ve become. I don’t have all of those answers for myself, but I know who Haley was. She was the woman who died protecting the child we brought into this world together, and I will make sure that Jack grows up knowing who his mother was and how she loved and protected him and how much I loved her. If Haley were with us today, she would ask us not to mourn her death, but to celebrate her life. She would tell us…she would tell us to love our families unconditionally and to hold them close cause in the end, they are all that matter.

I met Haley at the tryouts of our high school’s production of The Pirates of Penzance, I found our copy of the play and I was looking through it the other night, and I came upon a passage that seemed…appropriate for this moment. “Oh dry the glistening tear that dews that marshall cheek. Thy loving children here in them thy comfort seek. With sympathetic care, their arms around thee creep. For oh they cannot bear to see their father weep.”

I couldn't stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks when I watched this. A fellow follower of the show would have understood the impact this episode had on me. Watch the episode when Haley was killed (the 100th episode) and you would understand too.

Criminal Minds mode... ON

2010-11-10T12:00:00.003+08:00

Rossi (to the team): Can somebody explain to me the appeal of these sites? 'Having sushi tonight yum!' 'Boss is keeping me late at work Grrr...'

Morgan (to Rossi explaining the phenomenon of twitter): that’s the running joke, right? Nobody is but we’ll all like to believe that there’s an audience out there that wants to follow our every move.

From episode 5.22 - The Internet Is Forever.

2010-11-04T13:44:00.001+08:00

"Don't hurry, Lauren. Just take it easy. Allah is waiting for you. Ignore those who tell you: you must do this, wear that, have your hair like this. Follow your instincts, follow the Holy Qur'an- and let Allah guide you."

The sheikh who converted Lauren Booth in London.

Yes you can!!

2010-11-02T21:24:00.001+08:00

You can do anything you want to do as long as you make up your mind. You can do it.

Dick Hoyt of Team Hoyt.

p.s: so please.... make up your mind

2010-10-20T23:15:00.000+08:00

"There are things we don't want to happen, but have to accept. Things we don't want to know, but have to learn. And people we can't live without but have to let go."

JJ in Criminal Minds

Marriage

2010-10-06T11:13:00.004+08:00

“We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'.”

Susan Sarandon in Stepmom

P.s: And I'm happy that my husband's back from his 1 week work meeting in Mauritius :).I didn't go because tak cukup cuti.. Booooooo.

French Macaroons (Macarons) @ Babycakes G Tower

2010-09-28T11:50:00.007+08:00

pics from eatdrinkkl.blogspot.com

They are heavenly and for RM2.20-RM2.50 a piece I don't think its too much considering the ingredients, effort and skill to produce these babies. And having them just next to my office building is just awesome because whenever I crave for something sweet I could just drop by and pop them in my mouth. Bliss..

pics from eatdrinkkl.blogspot.com

My favourite is the salted caramel and bitter chocolate. And the red velvet for me has just the right amount of cheese and sweetness. The Green Tea was an acquired taste. I liked it but my friend didn't. I find the crunchiness of the casing was just nice and made even better because they kept it in a chiller instead of room temperature. The fillings were thicker than the average macarons but that's not something I'am complaining about because they are just delightful. Although appearance wise it's not the perfect macaron (read: perfect dome and foot) but it reminded me of the large macarons I once had at Paul's in London. Plus the size is larger than the ones at Whisk.

All I can say is it's a must try for macaron lovers. If you want to give it as gift or hantaran even(so pretty as hantaran!!!) they come in a lovely black box of 8 or 15.

p.s: I've tried the ones at Whisk but the filling is much too sweet for my liking.. But that's just me.

Eid Mubarak

2010-09-09T10:08:00.003+08:00

Wishing everyone Eid Mubarak, Maaf Zahir dan Batin.

I wish I'm in Kuching this year because Eid in KL is so quiet. When I didn't have Azalia, I didn't mind so much, but with her around, I wish that I can give her the havocness of Eid every year. Due to the number of relatives I have there.. its havoc heaven. Why lar abah dun want to raya in Kuching this year.

I have a feeling its because Mak Nek is no longer around and also since my maternal grandparents are here he feels we should spend Eid with them. Well.. that's what I think.Although he says its because our relatives are coming here the week after Eid for my cousin's wedding. Not the same lah Abah.

Don't get me wrong, I love my family and relatives in KL too.. its just that I wish we have more kids around. Normally we would have Adam and family, but since its their turn to raya in JB, and Aariff and family will be off to Perth on second day of raya so..Azalia will be the only kid running around the house this Raya.

Oh well.. I need to get my Eid spirits up.. so again.. TO EVERYONE....EID MUBARAK

Music..at its best.

2010-09-08T06:17:00.000+08:00

Freshly baked Samperit... I like....

2010-09-07T14:18:00.002+08:00

This raya I've decided no more biskut tunjuk2. I'm sick of buying cookies which turns out to be a disappointment. And by cookies I just mean 1. Samperit. My absolute favourite. The best was my late grandmother's Samperit. I miss her. I miss the biscuits she used to make. Its been ages since I've tasted her Samperit or others that taste similar to hers.

So I decided to try making one. Got the recipe from mat gebu. But I've decided to make it into a rectangular instead of a flower. I prefer it in that shape.

It turned out great. I was sooo happy!!! Got my dad's stamp of approval too. It wasn't exactly like my grandmother's but it's almost the same. I seriously recommend those who attempt to make Samperit to try this recipe because it's to die for. It really does melt in your mouth.

p.s: Azalia helped out in the mixing and shaping of the dough. She was in charge of cutting the dough when I've squeezed it out of the cookie shaper? Anyways... after maybe about 2 trays, she said " Dahlah mak. Alia bosan ah" APEKAH??!!! And she just left me with dozens more to go. Ape laaa...

But she loved the cookies too since it's not too sweet. Anak ku tak suka manis2. Favourtie drink pun air kosong. Tapi kaki gula2 and chocolate. Bende lain manis tak suka. Ada pelik? Memang ada sikit pelik.

Next up... Checkerboard cookies. Also can't find good ones out there. But it's such a hassle to make. I've left the dough in the chiller for 2 days now.. alamak. Hope it's still good. If not have to start all over again.

MPH Warehouse Sale - the verdict

2010-09-01T15:23:00.003+08:00

We had a blast. Azalia and I. We were there around 9.30 only to realise it was at 10am (silly me) luckily ada playground so Azalia had a good 20 minutes of play time. Once the door opened..all system go.

We went straight to the RM5 pile (Cakap we mcm Azalia tau je what's happening, when in fact she went all excited when she saw the playhouse Disney's, Princess' and Ben 10's magazines that I had to pull her away because the sale was not good enough there).

I told her where to search for her books (in the boxes underneath the bins because there are good finds there) and we found loads of activity books for Azalia at the price of RM5 and under. We even found Angelina tin set for RM5, some Stories from Quran for kids which usually cost us RM19.90 outside but only freaking RM5 there. We had lots of fun and Azalia was a good sport (I think because she got to buy almost everything she chucked in the basket)

I bought myself a book titled " Why men can only do one thing, and women never stop talking". The title was funny and it was only RM3 so I thought why not. hehehe. A Jeffrey Archer book (LOVE IT!!) and althought I wished I could be there longer but it was getting crowded and we already spent nearly 2 hrs in there so it was time to go.

To Azalia, you've showed me you can handle the crowds at warehouse sales (the first time was at Diethelm warehouse sale) so from now on you will be my partner in crime..heheh your father will be so pleased he doesn't have to follow me around anymore. HAHHAHAAHAH.

Overall.. the sale in my opinion was good because I love books. Most items were on 30% sale. There were some new titles also on sale. Kids books are so worth it. Don't be scared to rummage through the RM2 and above bins. Be early and you'll get better air circulation in the hall. Cashiers are a plenty and they accept credit card. In total I spent RM163 for 25 books. Hehehehe... best best. Told Asa to remind me not to buy books anymore but he said when did that ever stopped me... :p.

5 is 10 bahagi 2

2010-08-26T17:57:00.002+08:00

Its our 5th wedding anniversary today and we forgot about it.. HAHAHA

I only remembered around 11am this morning. Gave him call and wished him. His response.. "Ye ke hari ni anniversary kite. Tarikh hari ni berapa?? ooo a'ahlah. So nak buka puasa dekat luar ke?

Unfortunately I'm not feeling well sooo... no special dinner because it's just not worth it if I can't hold it in.

So..to another 5 years and more. Amin.

Must make Azalia wish us happy anniversary today.

I'm reluctant to tell my mother that it's my anniversary because it'll just remind her of the fact that her favourite aunt passed away a week after our wedding. She was my favourite grandaunt too.

Al-fatihah.

MPH Merdeka Sale

2010-08-26T13:01:00.002+08:00

Received an SMS

Event: MPH Merdeka Sale
Date: 30/08/2010 - 05/09/2010
Location: Dewan D'Kelana, PJ

Discounts up to 70%

RM10 MPH voucher for every RM200 spent and many more for CIMB Bank credit cards.

From previous experience, the MPH sale are usually worth it. At least for kids books because I usually borong kids books during these sales.

Go check it out!!!!

Lara's Place - Baby Ballet

2010-08-25T07:15:00.001+08:00

Saturday was Azalia's baby ballet class. We had it at Lara's Place. It was near the house so very very convenient. It was at 8.45am and as I had expected Azalia was moody that morning due to lack of sleep. That was my fault. I came back late from dinner with the girls and she waited up for me.

Anyway.. she was a bit clingy.. which was also expected but did what the teacher told her to. There were 3 other girls in her class. I thing they are around 4-5 years old. She needed a bit of a push and she wanted me to be with her all the time but I think she followed directions ok. That is until another teacher came in and suggested that maybe I wanted to wait outside so that she won't be too clingy.

That was a huge mistake. She heard and started crying. Like really bad like I was going to leave her and never come back. Tried to console her but to no avail. She kept on saying she wanted to go back. But when I asked if she wanted to do ballet she said yes but she wants to go home and she's sleepy. Hmmphhh.... after maybe 15mins of trying to console her finally she was ok and was half willingly to join the class. But then it has already finished.

But I signed her up for a month anyway because she seemed interested.

Have to make sure she sleeps early every friday night now.

The fees?

Trial class - RM10
Ad-hoc class - RM30pw
Class-monthly- RM80
Reg.Fee - RM20

P.s: heard from another mother talking about the teacher how her 4 year old daughter had a short attention span and even in mandarin class can't seem to stay put. I was like whooaaahhh 4 yo and already in mandarin class. But isn't it normal for kids to not be able to stay put for an hour at 4 yo?

Just wondering.

Ill in Perth

2010-08-24T07:09:00.000+08:00

When in Perth, Azalia was diagnosed by the doctor as having a 'tummy virus'.

Yes we actually went to a clinic there because she was vomitting quite frequently and couldn't hold anything in. That diagnose cost us $80(no medication given but it was worth knowing she would be alright)

A day before we went, she was down with fever. But she was ok on the day we left. The next day she was alright, playing at the beach and all but that evening she started vomitting. At first I thought it was gas because she didn't have a high temperature but it turned out to be more than that when she even couldn't hold her milk in. All she could take was water. She vomitted a few times that night and even she she slept she would wake up suddenly and vomit. We went to the emergency room at the nearby hopital but they said we had to go to the children's hospital because they didn't treat children there.

We waited till morning to see her progress, and while Asa went to pick up the car, I called their healthcare line and after telling the nurse all of her symptoms they suggested I go to a nearby private clinic. It was so bloody near that I just walked there with Azalia and didn't wait for Asa. Turned out she had a tummy virus or better known as stomach flu. Or in medical terms, gastroenteritis. The doctor didn't give any medication (which I expected because when mum said australian doctors wouldn't really give any medication to young kids unless its really2 necessary) and advised me to just keep giving her water and she'll be feeling better later that night.

We were soooo relieved.

we went out to Fremantle later that afternoon because the doctor said all she needs is a lot of rest and since we'll be driving and she'll be in her stroller the whole time we're there we thought it'll be ok to get her out and have some fresh air and rest at the same time. The ride was only about 30mins and Azalia slept through it. We had a good time at the markets and Azalia just slept in her stroller. I brought a few plastic bags for her to vomit in. We used 3.

When we got back I made some soup just in case she wants to eat later that night. She looked better but suddenly she had a temperature. So I put a suppository panadol up her a$$ and let her rest. Luckily we brought Asa's laptop and her barney cds so she spent the whole time watching that. I could see the improvement from the night before. She slept and I stayed awake and watch TV. It was only around 8pm. Asa went to a BBQ at his brother's friend's place. I insist that he went because they've been so nice to invite us. Plus he could bring me something to eat. hehe.

Around 10pm Azalia woke up and her temperature's gone. She called out to me and asked for some noodle and soup. I quickly made her some and was so happy to see her slurping away. It wasn't much but she didn't vomit them out so that's good news!!!.

Next morning Azalia woke up with her usual "maaakkk bangun" And I was delighted. She even uttered an "ok, fine" which indicates that she's back to her usual self. I quickly gave her some rice and soup before we went out and she happily at them.. aaahhh all is well again.

Her name

2010-08-21T12:41:00.001+08:00

Azalia can spell her name about a week ago.

It first started with

A-Z

then progresses to

A-Z-L

Then it improved to

A-Z-L-I

Finally she got it right

A-Z-A-L-I-A